Long time no write!

[maddie86]

Hi everyone! My husband passed away from con cancer in 2012.. I used to religiously use this site and it helped me through some of the most darkest times! After my husband died i struggled for a very long time. His family were just awful to me (more than usual) so I've cut them out of my life. His father didn't mention me in his eulogy.. Nice huh? I wasn't invited in the funeral car, thought of or anything! His family completely took over! I ended up in hospital the day after he died due to stress. My body was literally fighting me! I had nothing left. I hadn't slept in days and his family made me do everything. They were awful! I never got any of his ashes or even things he had left me as his wife. Now legally i know yes i can fight them. But emotionally? No. I just don't want to and simply cant let those evil f&$@s back into my life. I am now with a beautiful man who is eight years older than myself and treats me wonderfully! Its so nice to have a drama free relationship! I am always concerned for his health and get paranoid. I even made him get a colonoscopy, because he had tummy cramps! I know its from the trauma I've gone through, id just rather be safe than sorry! A lot of ppl judged me for moving on. I got with Ben 6 months after my husband died. Ben knew Braeden, they did the same sports and knew each other through others but they weren't close. Ben has helped me so much through my grief, supported me when everyone else had given up... I do t think its right to judge a widow because you just don't know how they feel. I would like to tell you all that i sill be here to help you if you need me from now on. Please reach out to me if you need to! I have literally hot rock bottom, and although I'm still not perfect (who is?) i do love helping others. I know how it feels to watch the love of your life slowly die, to feel panic and uncertainty. It passed. It really does. The grief does never go away but it truly does ease up. That gut wrenching pain you get when everything floods you? Stops. The daily crying? Stops. I know everyone is different, but after attending a few grief groups for young people this seems to be the go... Loosing a spouse at any age is hurtful but when they are you g it seems to unfair. I hope you all have a good sleep, i hope i can help some of you get through this... You will get through this. I promise xxx