May 2021
Hi DJ, your post and in particular many of the replies brings many upsetting feelings to the surface for me. Although I'm not technically a survivor, everyday I wake-up I remind myself that I have survived another 24 hours. I no longer disclose my medical state nor any detailed personal history. Past relationship experiences have clipped my openness and honesty and I dump all obvious symptoms on my increasing age. Actually I look quite normal, whatever that is. Attempting to rekindle relationships with old buddies has been surprising and in a few cases really shocking. Some simply dont wont to go anywhere near a discussion and others already have their opinions. Seems that some even have more knowledge about me than I do. My general attitude is if you dont wanna friend me because I'm sick then your're not worthy of my friendship anyway. I hope everyone here is doing ok today and survive another day. My LOVE to you all.
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May 2020
Dearest Steve... I also had no support during chemo and after. I've lost nearly all my friends. Not one has asked how I am and how I'm doing. Not only did my friends desert me my parents also did. Kicked me out of the apartment they had for me while going through chemo...they said I complained to much and shunned me even more for taking pain pills. I had become a junkie to them. Why can people not understand this horrible disease? I am 6 months out of chemo and still feel i haven't gotten a clear answer if is gone. every time i went to dr. It was everything looks great only to go into the hospital for SOB and be told there were three lymph nodes they were still looking at. My symptoms have started again. I feel abandoned from every corner. Dealing with cancer i thought would be the worst..no..now i have neuropathy and absolutley miserable. I'm scared and fed up that i may never get back to normal.
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October 2018
Hello lovely, just read this post even though it’s really old. I hope you are doing well and life is treating you well. Always here for a chat. Xx
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March 2018
Hi Maddie and Netty So sorry to hear your partenars diagnosis and what comes with it. I to understand how horrible it is to wait . My hubby has multiple spinal mets but has no symptoms We found out a couple of days ago that he has an epidural mass with minor spinal cpmression out appt isnt till Sat . The wait is unbearable so feel your pain. Hugs to both of you. Have you done the telephone support group for carers through the cancer council I have had 2 sessions and find it helpful to chat to ppl in your own situation. Roz
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May 2014
Hi Ranz, I'm so glad you've found this site. It's a really good place to come to vent, and be reminded that you're not alone.
I remember when my husband was going through chemo, the one thing I wanted most was to vent to someone who could respond with 'I hate that part!' I found this site, and three years later I'm still benefitting.
I will second Maddie's recommendation that you look after yourself as well (as impossible as that sounds!) It will keep you in the best condition to look after your family, and prevents storing up problems for later.
Take it day by day (or sometimes hour by hour), and know that we're all cheering for you. xx
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May 2014
Maddie,
Thank you so much for your reply and the helpful suggestions, and I am sorry to hear of a life lost so young... I will definitely take your comments on board and try to make sure that my husband does stuff to help his emotional wellbeing during this time too. I will have radiation therapy in August and I believe I will have to wait at least a year to start trying for a family, it is still my biggest concern and while the Drs have said it should be ok I think I might go see a fertility specialist anyway. I have had a bad run of health issues and want a specialists opinion to make sure we have the best chance of still having a family.
Everyone seems to be trying to protect me by not talking about my diagnosis, or how they feel, but I am coping very well (far better than I would have expected) and I just need them to open up a bit more, but at the same time don't want to make them feel that they are dealing with it incorrectly as there isn't a right way... Communication is so important to me and I am finding that hard. I have people in my life bottling up their emotions and then having mini emotional breakdowns, (not anger as you experienced with your husband) but I just want to help them deal with these intense emotions.
Thank you again for your advice and for being a sympathetic ear, it does help to verbalise all of this, and it means a lot to have this support available, so thank you for being here 🙂
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September 2014
Anxiety and depression are REALLY horrible, but in all honesty u have really good reason to feel that way, its a horrible and depression situation to be in isnt it! having said that u need to try anything to get out of it, I think u heal a lot better when having a positive outlook, plus its overall better for u too,I havent finished chemo so not in the same position as u but i really wish u well and hope u start to feel better soon as x
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February 2014
Hi everyone! My husband passed away from con cancer in 2012.. I used to religiously use this site and it helped me through some of the most darkest times! After my husband died i struggled for a very long time. His family were just awful to me (more than usual) so I've cut them out of my life. His father didn't mention me in his eulogy.. Nice huh? I wasn't invited in the funeral car, thought of or anything! His family completely took over! I ended up in hospital the day after he died due to stress. My body was literally fighting me! I had nothing left. I hadn't slept in days and his family made me do everything. They were awful! I never got any of his ashes or even things he had left me as his wife.
Now legally i know yes i can fight them. But emotionally? No. I just don't want to and simply cant let those evil f&$@s back into my life. I am now with a beautiful man who is eight years older than myself and treats me wonderfully! Its so nice to have a drama free relationship! I am always concerned for his health and get paranoid. I even made him get a colonoscopy, because he had tummy cramps! I know its from the trauma I've gone through, id just rather be safe than sorry! A lot of ppl judged me for moving on. I got with Ben 6 months after my husband died. Ben knew Braeden, they did the same sports and knew each other through others but they weren't close. Ben has helped me so much through my grief, supported me when everyone else had given up... I do t think its right to judge a widow because you just don't know how they feel.
I would like to tell you all that i sill be here to help you if you need me from now on. Please reach out to me if you need to! I have literally hot rock bottom, and although I'm still not perfect (who is?) i do love helping others. I know how it feels to watch the love of your life slowly die, to feel panic and uncertainty. It passed. It really does. The grief does never go away but it truly does ease up. That gut wrenching pain you get when everything floods you? Stops. The daily crying? Stops.
I know everyone is different, but after attending a few grief groups for young people this seems to be the go... Loosing a spouse at any age is hurtful but when they are you g it seems to unfair.
I hope you all have a good sleep, i hope i can help some of you get through this... You will get through this. I promise xxx
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September 2014
Hi Sonya,
I think I start this coming Monday or Tuesday and should find out soon what the weekly cycles are. I can't believe I'm saying this but am actually hoping and praying I get the rash so I know it's working and blasting those damn liver spots left into oblivion. We do have a history of bowel cancer in our family unfortunately my uncle got it in his early 40's but was cured as it was in his bowel only and hadn't spread anywhere else. I will make sure I keep you posted on my progress as I get the chemo. Am looking forward to my second liver operation to get this crap out of me once and for all.
A
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March 2014
Hi Maggie,
Sorry to hear about your loss. That deeply saddens me.
My treatment finished last October. I just had my latest Colostomy with the all clear. Its been a year since my operation to remove the tumor so I am hope clear sailing from here.
However the threat and fear of it returning is always there. I guess even if I remain free of cancer I actually still live with cancer.
I have gotten my business back on track and my babies are doing great. Both are coming up to 1st and 2nd birthday May.
All is pretty good at the moment so fingers crossed.
Regards,
Craig.
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