Maddie I feel for you so much i have not lost a partner through cancer but i have lost a parent, i saw my mum just die inside when her husband of 69 years passed away in front of her, she was devistated and did not want to go on but she needed to go on for her family around her it is very important for family to be with you at this time, Also as kj suggested maybe your doctor at this time or maybe a professional person you can talk with, i do hope this helps. Keep strong and keep going on as your husband would have wanted you to i doubt he would want you to feel like this as he loved you dearly abs ... View more

I experienced some of that from grief when my first husband died, some at another time due to anxiety and the rest from 8 years of menopause (dry, burning, nauseous flushes). Always get symptoms checked in case it has another cause. Look after yourself, (((hugs))) Pamela :-) ... View more

So sad for your loss..I am really not sure what else to say, as I am still on the roller-coaster ride of this GBM nightmare love and hugs to you xxx ... View more

I know how you feel my dad got like this at the end he was not making sense and then would get abusive, which broke my heart as I love him so much. When people are really sick they are scared, in pain and also trying to distance themselves from those they love. Just know he loves you, the day before dad died he told me to bugger off as he was upset by my mother being there (they don't get along) but the day after when he was clearly dying he let me hold his hand and made and effort to look into my eyes and wink at me (showing the dad I loved and knew) so although it doesn't help and can be heartbreaking to go through dont take it personally just by being there he wants to spend his last time left with you, enjoy the good with the bad and know from my experience that this can be all over in a flash so enjoy it and have no regrets for yourself xxx ... View more

Hi Terese, Just wondering how you are travelling as if I don't know the answer. Thinking about you and sending hugs. xxxx ... View more

Dex is terrible! I want to c if we can halve his doseage.. Just now i got cuddles then got told to "fuck off already!".. Its making me an emotional mess! Im so afraid, hes so careless with his meds but as soon as im on his back- bam! Im the most terrible girl in the world... Uhhhh ... View more

Hi Maddie You have been having a tough time for a long time & a professional to help you is a great idea. Just having someone neutral to talk to is good and I have found that I cry a lot more at counselling than anywhere else. I think that is a good healthy thing to be able to go somewhere and let out all the pent-up emotion. Best Wishes ... View more

thanks andrew, he is now on fentanyl patches and i think morphine but will get off the morphine and go back on oxycontin.. im worried that all this medication will just make him sicker but the dr says it'l take a few days for the side effects to dissapear... ... View more

Maddie86, Life really is so unfair at times..... Nobody should have to go through this pain ever let alone at our age.... I can only imagine the pain and sadness you are experiencing..... I understand how you feel about wanting some relief from seeing your fiance in so much pain.... I see my fiance crying so often about the uncertainty of my cancer and our life together after we get married (on 27th Oct). It is horrible to see the one u love heartbroken, defeated and overwhelmed What a sad place for u to be in so close to your wedding day, I know u have imagined a perfect day and I will keep my fingers crossed u have the day you dreamed of and both deserve. Planning a wedding is crazy stressful on a good day let alone while dealing with cancer. Make sure u take some time for yourself before the wedding - get a massage, have long foot spa, go to the moves alone (see a comedy and laugh), do a face mask with ur bridesmaids or just get drunk (at ur hens party). The thing I'm trying to say is take some Maddie time cause u def deserve it and we all need time to ourselves! U will be better for ur fiance and better for yourself by having some time out :) Take care Rubes ... View more