I lost my beautiful father this month and I feel absolutely heartbroken its like a piece of me died with him and whilst I don't want him to be in any pain I miss him terribly. I have never experienced anything like this before and I understand it will take time but are there any tips on how to get through this (ie counselling) - I have a beautiful partner who is very supportive and a also family support but this is tumultuous at the best of times and right now I have no energy for the fights and just want to grieve dad. I am also back at work but feel like I have no energy for anything and I want to change this, as before he died I could balance long hours at work and caring for him with no issues, now all I want to do is sleep. Is this normal. ... View more

Hi there - my beautiful father has been struggling with cancer over the past year and a half. First it was esophogial which at first responded well to his major surgery but at the beginning of this year the cancer spread to his leg and he has been undergoing further radiation therapy (having had the max chemo with the first cancer). Dad has been amazingly positive throughout all of this and despite the earlier set back this year when it returned he has been quite optimistic as to life expectancy. As my brother is a specialist in the hospital my father is in - he has always been very honest about the reality of dad's situation (as much as anyone can be with the unknown) in this past year dad has been in and out of hospital more and more with the last recent bout due to pneumonia and poor mobility - at which stage he asked the question about life expectancy (thinking it would be years) and be told the truth about it being at most a year and more than likely months. Since he has come out of hospital I can see his mobility has diminished significantly and he sleeps most of the time whereas only weeks ago he was still fairly active given his condition and could stay awake and hold conversations. I am concerned that he is giving up on life due to this news from the doctor - he does refer to the end of his life mater of factly but he still seems cheery when he is awake (and sometimes a little bit out of it due to the meds) I have no idea how to handle this as none of my friends have or are going through anything similar - my brother can speak from experience working in this field but want I want to know is: *How do you try and keep things as normal as possible for someone with a terminal illness? He seems to easily discuss when he is not going to be here anymore and I want hints on how I can listen to this without crying in front of him and making it harder? *Also how do you boost someone's moral when they have a terminal illness? He has always been so optimistic and although he hasn't said anything now about how he feels (even though I have said it must be hard and he can talk about it anytime) I want to ensure I can do the best I can - this week I have been off work and spending time with him all day feeding him etc and taking him for little walks/ drives but he still sleeps most of the time, is this normal? *How do you handle this situation with your employer - I have a fairly hard core job which I work hard at and don't want to jeopardise but I also want to be there for my father if he needs me - is it possible to take planned carer's leave as I have several weeks entitlment accured? ... View more