its been eight weeks now and i miss him more than ever... its different now. Instead of waking up daily crying and not being able to do basic things, i get up, feed myself do what i do for the day (not back at work yet) and get on with it... the only thing is i find myself having these flashbacks of stuff... his death, his sickness.. the happier memories. I'l just stare in to space and think of him. I miss him so much.. his smell, the way he'd play with my hair until id fall asleep, the way he'd hug me and id feel as if all my problems have been taken away.... now i go to bed alone, i sit at a table of couples alone... i dont miss his cancer, i dont miss his pain.. but oh my god how i miss my husband. My beautiful, sexy husband! He was my whole world... we were a team. I promised him we'd always be a team. There's no I in team and thats what i am now. I. Im missing my other half like a part of my body is missing. Its there... im living with it. Thats it now... living with it. Not happy. Not moving on. Just living with it... ... View more

its been just over a month and today is a bad day... it all started a few days ago i started to become lethargic then today i eventually broke down n pretty much cried all today. I miss him so much... i want to smell him again, to touch him, to have him hold me... when i used to get upset over him dying he'd console me and hug me so tight it was like instant relief. Ive been walking around the house moping and crying and both my parents have ignored me! My dad is in a terrible mood and my parents are just ignoring me while i bawl my eyes out... its like they cant be bothered hearing it anymore.. dad even told me to f off while i told him to to just stop slaming stuff... im just over this week and im so down because i was so happy just a few weeks ago.. feel like im back at square 1 😞 ... View more