today mum went and had a heart scan done, i think it went well and all was ok, i then took her to the oncolgy unit to find out when they would be starting the chemo, they are still unsure as they are still waiting on results to be able to start from canberra, its so frustrating, she just wants to start fighting and i feel this really let her down, it let me down, i want to see her stepping forward in this process and the start for us is to do the chemo!! why does it take so god dam long to get it all going?? i am feeling really low today and just want this all to go away and end! i love being here with my mum the thought of having to go home is really hard i really dont want to leave!!
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