Hi , I have had a very busy and emotionally draining week and I have just logged on to my computer. It was so nice to hear from other people who felt like me. Harker, commented on having Multiple Myeloma as well, and said the stem cells had been harvested. The actual transplant is nothing more than having these stem cells transfused back in. The main issue is that they have to reduce your immune system to zero and try to rid your body of any trace of the cancer with a very strong chemo. The whole process is quite amazing, but to build your strength both emotinally and physically is an enormous task.Some days I feel strong but lately I have been feeling very vulnerable. I suppose the problem is when you have to work, for financial reasons. Sometimes the work can be positive, socially for your mind etc. But lately, in my work there has been an enormous overhaul and I am finding that my brain does not function like it used to.It is times like this that everything becomes tooo much and I feel I can not cope. There really is no solution and it can be very frustrating, people then don't care that you had cancer treatment. You are well enough on the surface, so they expect results. Sometimes I wish I could just throw it all in and stop being such a hero!1
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Contributor
Hi Rachel, When I was at support services when I was newly diagnosed I came across people who were finished or nearly finished their treatment and I didn't understand why they were still needing support. I understand now. I'm sure people who know me have no idea of the emotional toll it has taken. I also worry that my brain does not work as well now as it did before. I guess there is no solution but maybe just time passing and talking to people will help.
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Hi Allicat, Some days I really start to question what our lives are all about. You begin to have a very different perspective on life. The thing is you have changed but no one else has. This is why I feel alone with my thoughts as my view of everything is so different now from friends and family. It is good to hear other people feel like me. I often wonder what I have learned from this cancer experience, but I seem to be making the same mistakes again. We lead such busy lives, with work, friends, families etc. I sometimes want to go and live on a deserted island where everyone will leave me alone. It sounds so anti social but I don't want this hussle bussle of life anymore. In the real world though, life continues and there is no avoiding being involved in all of it!!
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Hi Rachel, am new at this so please bear with me until I can get used to this site! From your blogs I see you list yourself as having smouldering myeloma but you had a stem cell thingy, is that right? I have smouldering myeloma too and have been told to watch and wait, have tests every 3 months. am a bit confused!
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