Anger

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Occasional Visitor

Anger

My mom was diagnosed with Ovarian cancer this year. Treatment has been very hard, she couldn't even tolerate the initial chemotherapy and has now been hospitalized for about a month. She has suddenly spiraled into a hopeless depression and even more recently...a very angry person. My mom has been my best friend and I don't question her love for me but, her recent anger has truly affected me. She has said very hurtful things and now I'm scared to even visit her, even if the stuff is just stupid stuff. It hurts to suddenly have her treat me like I'm an uncaring daughter, that I wouldn't drop everything and anything to help or be with her.

Has anyone had a similar experience with their loved one? I know she is going through the most terrifying thing. But, it's hard to be consistently beaten down by someone I love. She won't even answer me when I check in via text during the day (and she's a texter). I happen to work very close to her hospital and I want to visit her anyway after work but...again I'm scared of her rejection. I'm also scared of not visiting because I'm scared. Her prognosis is sketchy right now, we aren't sure if the new chemotherapy will take.

Should I confront her about her anger? Just try to level with her that we can't treat eachother this way? Should I leave it alone and keep going with her rejection?

1 REPLY 1
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Super Contributor

Re: Anger

Hi CATastrophe519, As well as being a member of this forum I'm also a member of a forum for women who's husbands have cancer, and this is a really common issue.  Unfortunately some people cope with bad situations by lashing out at the people that they love.  As far as a solution, only you can determine what is best for you and your relationship with your mother.  You've outlined a few different options, and you will know which one will create the best situation.   A lot of women do confront their husbands about their aggressive behaviour, but that is usually more imperative as they are living together, and sometimes there are kids involved.   You'll know what to do.

 

Another thing to keep in mind is your Mum's medication- there are some medications that change a person's mood and personality.  A good first step might be to ask your Mum's medical team if they think the medication may be affecting your Mum this way, that may give you some guidance about what to do next.  I wish you all good luck.

 

love and hugs, Emily

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