Angry, bitter cancer sufferer

[Sueosman]

My nephew, 46 years of age, has been diagnosed with an advanced head and neck cancer. Sadly no one in the family knows many details as he has forbidden doctors to disclose anything with family members. All the family is finding it very hard to deal with him as he is not responsive to any form of help and in fact has become quite abusive to all. All family members are devastated . Has anyone else experienced this, and how do we help and cope?

[Budgie]

Hi Sueosman,

That's a terrible situation to be in.  Your nephew might be trying to protect you all from his pain, but in so doing, is creating pain & frustration.  His mind would be a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions, but to lash out doesn't help anyone.  That he has become abusive is not acceptable & he needs to be made aware of this fact.    Perhaps someone could suggest counselling for him, & maybe give him a bit of space for a while.   Unfortunately, there's not a great deal that you can do until he decides he wants & needs your help & support, except to reassure him it's there for him when he does.

All the best

Budgie

[Sueosman]

Hi Budgie,

Thank you so much for your response, especially your kind advice. Everything that you have suggested, we have tried. In fact even his group of specialists have told his sister that as long as he is refusing any help or counselling there isn't anything they can do for him other than provide him with the medical treatment that he needs. We are all hoping that he will eventually come out the other side and be the kind beautiful man that we knew him to be

Thanks again

Sue