BORED

[beck2930]

I have joined this site and also another site to connect with others in the same situation! WHERE IS EVERYONE?

[harker]

I give up. Where? At 2.43am I was asleep and I suspect most other Aussies were too. Not you, obviously. Welcome anyway. H

[beck2930]

Yes I realize that! But I'm talking about at anytime! I see alot of whinging on this site and on another about friends falling by the wayside etc. But when I post about organizing a meet up for young widows with kids to get together and take kids to the park Etc no one even replies! Getting out and doing positive things is far better for us than to sit around on here and whinge! It's about making a positive change! I for one am over doing stuff with the kids by myself and reading some of the comments on here there are others too! So why is it sooooo hard to get something going?

[harker]

Hi Bored Is there not a local group at your hospital? I think there would be. This online facility is popular partly because people can conveniently engage from home, including in the middle of the night, and partly because people can maintain their preferred privacy level while interacting productively this way. It seems to me you are looking in the wrong place for a face to face group. I know. I have been down the same path as you. Maybe ring the helpline number? Good luck. H

[beck2930]

Yeah rang and this is the site I was given and also the everafterwidowed site! You say you been down that path, what info was given to you? If you don't mind me asking?

[harker]

Nothing particular to pass on, just that I did think I needed a face to face group. I was even wanting to start one. Then I was referred to this site and haven't looked back. I'm not saying it is right for you too. Not at all. Just that you might be trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. And I dispute that there is only negativity here. That is not my experience at all. Quite the opposite. If you do want face to face - and it does sound like a great idea - then I hope you can make that happen. Set it as a challenge for yourself. You might be surprised what happens. I'd be supportive. H

[beck2930]

No I don't find this site or the other site negative! Christ some of the things I have read has helped me like u wouldn't believe. I find at this point of time that I want to get out with the kids and do things which I've been doing but sometimes for me and the kids it would be great to meet up with others in the same situation! Let's face it others just don't understand what we go through from day to day. I guess it come across to u that way as I am frustrated! I like everyone else, am fed up with havin to contact ppl and no one really making any time for us or inviting us to social things! I sometimes think that we are in the two hard basket and I don't know why! I'm self sufficient, I don't cry and whinge 24/7! I was startin to think mmm maybe I'm just an arsehole! I'm being quite serious too. After reading other post I find that it's a problem for most! It saddens me that ppl are like that! I guess for me it's about making new friendships and keepin the old friendships that have stuck it out with me for more than 2 months! Sorry of I was being negative that wasnt my intention at all!

[harker]

That's fine. It really is one of the hard bits, isn't it, seeing some people as in your life and others as no longer in your life. It is sad, but it happens. I think you are doing exactly the right thing by concentrating on new friendships and continuing ones with people who seem to understand what you are going through. i only have a couple of friends and they are pure gold. I'm 57 so your stage of life is quite different. You know it better that I do. And I am glad you seem happy to just chat. H

[beck2930]

Yeah I'm 35! Actually can't believe the shit I've been through in 35 years. Thanks

[SILLY]

As you are so young (I'm 61) , close to my daughter's age ,I can understand what you want . I hope you get the response you'd like .