Being pushed away by your partner since his diagnosis .. How can I be there for him?!

chesca03
New Member

Being pushed away by your partner since his diagnosis .. How can I be there for him?!

So my partner of almost 4 years was recently diagnosed with Testicular which they removed and thought everything was ok but then now on his monthly scan have discovered the tumour in his liver and the cancer has gone gone into his back.. I think shock hit us first, he is only 33 and I am 28, we are at the stages of desperate for a baby and about to buy our new house.. and then the bomb dropped.. Life just stopped..

But I thought we had gotten thought it until the latest news of its too difficult in his back to operate, a month of chemo and then a month or radio is about to start.. 

Once the shock settled down for him, he seemed okay.. he was managing and carried on pretty normal. But its now a week until chemo and he has completely closed down. 

He will hardly speak to me, doesn't even want me at home.. just seems to have shut off from the world completely and I just want to show him that I'm not going anywhere. 

I don't want to leave his side for a single second and will look after him again through this now. 

How on earth can I prove to him I'm here for the long haul?! I get he will take things out on me when he's mad or frustrated but its so hard feeling so distant from someone you was so close too.

I am trying to hard to show him how much I am there for him.. what else can I do?!

Its hard not to take it personally but I just want to make things better and I know I cant...

 

Any advice ?! 

1 REPLY 1
Wegotthis
Contributor

Re: Being pushed away by your partner since his diagnosis .. How can I be there for him?!

Your post is hard to read because you both are around the same age of my oldest son and his wife .. Your partner is the reason I don't get upset about having cancer myself. 

I'm 55 with grandchildren. 

It really hurts me to see people who want to help and be supportive get treated so badly. 

You are awesome for going through this with him. At your age you could easily walk away from this and start over. 

Please don't take this wrong. Right now he is being very selfish. I believe it's because he feels he's lost control over his life.  Cancer is something that effects your way of thinking and how you look at things. The great thing is we can control that part of having cancer. 

I personally have decided that I don't want my wife and family to have any pain that I can control.. He needs to really think about how he wants to be remembered if he does lose the battle.  I don't want to throw away 55 years of being kind and loving just because I may or may not die .

Have him please read this if he wants to . Let  him know I'm here for him if he would like to take out his anger on me. Ill give him my phone number so he can cuss and yell at me. 

You are want every dad wishes for when a son brings home a young lady...

You will be in my prayers. I sure hope he realizes what he has before it's too late. 

I

 

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