Carer of husband with brain tumor

[abbeygail]

Hi my husband of 37 years was diognoised with a brain tumor 5 years ago, he had as much of his frontal lobe removed and had 6 weeks radiation. We got through that well and he had changed but at the time it looked like I might get most of him back. Just over a year later when he had just been cleared to go back to work he had a stroke. He spend 3 months in rehab learning to walk, which he does to a fashion, his speech is good and he can eat and do his own personal care but his right arm is pretty useless. And he is just so different. I am not in his head anymore, not as a wife anyway. I am his carer and thats all, he just can no longer see me as he use to. He is selfish, arrogant and uncaring. I understand this is all due to his cancer and if it wasn't for that we would still be living a normal happy loving life. I find the hardest thing is having nobody to talk to and share the problems with. You loose the friends that can't handle the changes and I have children but would not say the things to them that I sometimes feel, they are dealing with it in their own way. Its been the hardest thing to find a support group specific to my needs so I hope you are out there looking for someone to share with.

[#2]

Hi abbeygail, Welcome to the Cancer Connections community. We understand how important it is for you to be supported at this time and hope you will find Cancer Connections of benefit. There are a number of current Cancer Connections members with similar experiences or in similar situations you may be interested in contacting or connecting with: http://www.cancerconnections.com.au/users/tatsoi http://www.cancerconnections.com.au/users/chinwag In addition to Cancer Connections, Cancer Council also provide a range of free Telephone Support Groups for people affected by cancer, regardless of where you are in Australia. Our Carer Telephone Support Group can help support those who are caring for a partner, family member, friend or loved one. For more information on these and other free Telephone Support Groups please phone 1300 755 632 (messages can be left) or visit: http://goo.gl/EVvEPW If you require any assistance using the website, please email us at admin@cancerconnections.com.au Kind regards, Felix Cancer Connections Coordinator

[Melanie]

Hi abbeygail, Firstly- sorry you had to join this website, but Welcome :D I can completely understand where you are coming from, cancer itself changes people but Brain cancer removes their ability to care or have emotions like others. And it's so hard, because when they are being arses, and you get angry- you feel bad for getting angry, because god forbid your last conversation be in anger. And deep down you know they don't mean it. Doesn't mean it doesn't still hurt though right? We have lost a number of friends, well, they are still around, but we never see them- and only ever hear from them if we call or msg them. It does make it a lonely time. I have found using the blog on here to be therapeutic, to get out some of my thoughts & feelings but also I might just reach out to someone going through all this crap on their own as well. Share away my friend 🙂

[Maureen]

Hi Abbeygail, not been on here for a few weeks, so only just saw your post, and I definitely relate to your story. I am also caring for my husband who has Kidney Cancer which has metastasised to the bones and brain. He's had ops to pin, plate and cement the crumbling bones and a craniotomy to remove the brain tumour, unfortunately he suffered a stroke due to the operation. I feel very lonely most of the time too even though I have 2 grown up children close by - like you said there's some things you can't/won't share with close family. Very sad to hear you've been going through this for so long, my husband was only diagnosed at the beginning of August so everything has happened so quickly. Take care of yourself and share away. X

[Melanie]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/carole-brody-fleet/widowed-was-here-a-minute-ago_b_2484706.html abbeygail- I found this of great comfort