Hi Jill. It sounds like you have been going through a pretty tough time. When your loved one has cancer there are so many practical issues to keep you busy and not thinking about the future. When he dies, there are lots more other practical issues to deal with (bank accounts, mail, sorting out clothes, etc). When that winds down, suddenly you look around and wonder what to do. I can only imagine that this might feel scary and empty. I don't want to say anything trite that might diminish what you are going through. Pat responses like "get a hobby", "go for walks", "go to the movies", "treat yourself" are not really helpful. I am sure you have told these things to yourself plenty of time. I guess the only thing I can really suggest is to take your time. You need to adjust to a new phase in your life. You will have new challenges and new priorites. No one knows what these are yet. Give yourself time to let them unfurl at their own pace. try to slow down your life so you can think about what you are doing that you really enjoy and what you don't. This way you can try to focus on the directions that are taking you on a positive path. No one expects you to instantly finish with your grieving. I am sure it will ebb and flow, mixed with other natural feelings of love, loss, relief and guilt. Don't feel compelled to be strong all the time, just when it feels right. Give yourself space and time.
