Feeling guilty and frustrated and helpless

[Debbie2]

I feel like a bad person I know that my fiance has been through a lot with battling his cancer I get so angry with him when he knit picks at everything I do nothing is good enough for him since he found out that he is in remission his moods has changed alot he is a different person I don't know this person we get so angry at each other and I threaten to leave him I do love him I feel like he hates me  and my kids are starting to hate him cause of the way he acts 2of my kids are not his and we have one together and his other 2 I'm just so lost at what to do I don't know if we can get back to where we use to be before all this I feel like I hate him at times should I feel bad about having these feelings

[iloveyoudearly7]

Hi Debbie2,

Feeling guilty and frustrated is absolutely expected and a normal response to such events, emotions tend to run high especially when there are others individuals affected. I’m happy to hear that your partner is in remission that is fantastic news.

Have you sat down with your partner and discussed these issues at length - Informed him how his actions are affecting others? Maybe a councilor could act as a third party media?

Cancer  and it’s treatment can change a way someone’s perceives themselves and thus affects their self-esteem as well. It’s common to feel less confident about who you are and what you can do, add to the mix the consist fear of the future and what that may bring to your loved ones. Helpless breeds frustration. It's quite an stressful recipe.

But either way communication is the key.  

May I recommend the following link? Around page 40 might be helpful.

https://www.mylifehouse.org.au/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/mutiple_myeloma.pdf

Please let me know how it goes?