How to deal with siblings who won’t work together to care for Dad

Athomas
Occasional Visitor

How to deal with siblings who won’t work together to care for Dad

Hello, I’m new here. My Dad has stage 3 throat and tongue cancer. I live several hours away but my other siblings live close to Dad. One of them has no time to help but I’m working with my sister to care for him. I’m traveling back and forth, staying about a week or so at a time. I came into the situation blind, given no information by my sister about his care needs, meds, symptoms etc. she refuses to leave a book at Dad’s place to note changes in meds or anything else a caretaker should have when coming into pass the baton basically.  We text and I ask questions that are never answered. She is threatened by my presence and the relationship I’m building with my dad while I’m there. We have different mothers. I’ve asked if she will please make notes while I’m gone in a booklet I will put together and bring since she doesn’t want to leave hers at dad’s. No response from her. How do I give good continuity of care when there is zero communication and she’s building resentment towards me because I’m asking for some very basic things that are necessary when there is more than one caregiver? I am not trying to change processes or control- I just want communication. Im so frustrated and feel like this is tearing up our relationship. She is much younger than I am and I do have more knowledge about caretaking and I feel like she’s putting her own feelings ahead of what’s best for dad. Any advice? 

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