How to support my best friend

Michelle25
Visitor

How to support my best friend

Hello. I'm feeling heartbroken and would love some advice on how I can support my beautiful best friend who is losing her fight with cancer. I think her time is short. She has accepted what's happening, but now I need to focus on what I can do for her husband who's also my best mate. I'm trying to be strong, but I'm finding it hard too. I know crying is a good thing cos it's shows how much we love. I want her to be at peace for sure, but it's still so hard to say goodbye. Any practical advice would be fab. That's my focus. Thanks for listening. Love to everyone finding this a difficult time. 

2 REPLIES 2
Maddi_CCNSW
Cancer Council Team

Re: How to support my best friend

Hi Michelle, I'm sorry to hear about your friend. Sometimes the person who is coming to the end of their life comes to accepting it before the people around them.  This can make it difficult for everyone.  It's lovely that you are reaching out for help to know what to say to her and her husband.  I've included a link for some ideas of what to say to your friend.  You could also ask her husband some of these questions.  Letting them both know that you are there, and you are happy to help and listen, if or when they are ready, is a beautiful thing to do. Please also look after yourself, as you are also grieving for the loss of your friend.  

When You Don’t Know What to Say | End of Life | Cancer Council NSW

 

 

breastDackel
New Contributor

Re: How to support my best friend

First time poster. I'm in the same boat as the husband. I can only suggest to be there more for the patient than their husband, because mutual grief can complicate relationships. It is better for the patient if there are no misunderstandings or boundaries transgressed, even unintentional or however well meant. I personally would feel very uncomfortable if my wife's female friend/s directed attention my way, but that's me.

Me: unemployed, chronic depression, multiple suicide attempts w wounds I have to hide so as to not 'trigger' fellow mental health patients, innumerable mental health ward stays. 

 

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