First time poster. I'm in the same boat as the husband. I can only suggest to be there more for the patient than their husband, because mutual grief can complicate relationships. It is better for the patient if there are no misunderstandings or boundaries transgressed, even unintentional or however well meant. I personally would feel very uncomfortable if my wife's female friend/s directed attention my way, but that's me. Me: unemployed, chronic depression, multiple suicide attempts w wounds I have to hide so as to not 'trigger' fellow mental health patients, innumerable mental health ward stays.
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