Husband, Carer & Support for my beautiful wife diagnosed with Grade 3 Breast Cancer

Highlighted
Occasional Visitor

Husband, Carer & Support for my beautiful wife diagnosed with Grade 3 Breast Cancer

Hi all, I have been contemplating posting on the forums for a while now and now that I am here I feel a big lump rising in my throat, so I will do my best and I apologise if I ramble or if it reads a little disjointed. So here goes... My wife was diagnosed in December of last year after finding a lump in her left breast. After spending the last 5 to 10 years living with the pain of endometriosis and having a full hysterectomy my wife was receiving Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) and as a result she thought the lump in her breast was due to the HRT as it can sometimes have this effect on the breast tissue. I didn't want her taking the risk so I encouraged her to go and see the doctor. We didn't think anything of it, just expected it to be a normal side effect of HRT. After a couple of weeks in which there was a mammogram and then a biopsy we received the news that it was a breast cancer. As the words left the doctors mouth it felt like someone had replaced my blood with ice water and erased all thoughts from my head. I have never experienced anything so psychologically numbing. Even now that moment seems so surreal. I just remember walking out hugging my wife out to the car and as she got in she just broke down. I did not know what to do, what to say, I wanted to cry, but at the same time I was afraid that if I started I might not stop and we still had the drive home to tell the kids, which was a horrible experience, watching their faces and hearing their cries for their wonderful mum. I could do nothing but sit and hold them. It's all I had, but I now realise it's all I could really offer, and at the time all they really needed. In the January this year my wife had the tumour removed and four lymph nodes. They were able to removed the tumour with good clearances but unfortunately the cancer was found in one of the four lymph nodes removed, so she had to go in for more surgery to remove nearly all the lymph nodes on that side. We have now been through 6 months of chemo and are on the tail end of radiation treatment both of which have been soul destroying for my wife and the family. I had always heard about how horrible the physical side effects of cancer treatment can be, but nothing prepared us for how Cancer and it's treatment tears you down psychologically. We are still coming to terms with having Cancer as a part of our lives now. I realise this introduction was a tad piece meal and I hope I haven't rambled too much, but once I started it felt a little messy and emotional. Even if no one reads or responds to this post, it was really nice having somewhere to put this traumatic experience, even in this shortened form. Thank you. Matt
Reply
0 Kudos
1 REPLY 1
Highlighted
Occasional Contributor

Re: Husband, Carer & Support for my beautiful wife diagnosed with Grade 3 Breast Cancer

Matt, my heart breaks for you.

 

My husband was diagnosed with germ cell testicular cancer at Easter this year. We have had 4 cycles of 21 day chemo straight away, surgery to remove a tumour from behind his knee and surgery to remove 3 small tumours from his brain, these surgeries went well and were preparing for surgery on his lungs when the scans showed the cancer had flared up again. So now we are 2 cycles down into high dose chemo, again. The Drs and nurses are wonderful and keep us informed every step of the way. Our 2 teenage sons have been amazing throughout this whole crappy life we currently live. 

 

I can can cope with all the medical stuff and the Drs are still telling us that they hope to completely stop the cancer then cut it out.  But my big issue is all the emotional changes to our family, I miss my husband, I want to old hubby back, I am sure he will get back to normal one day, but for our normal is so far removed from normal that I wonder how we, I get up each day and continue.

 

please if you need to chat don't hesitate 

 

Allison 

Reply
0 Kudos
Post new topic
Talk to a health professional
Cancer Council support and information 13 11 20Mon - Fri 9am - 5pm
Cancer Information and Support

Online resources and support

Access information about support services, online resources and a range of other materials.

Caring for someone with cancer?

Find out what resources and support services are available to assist you.