I have lost my beautiful mum to a brain tumour....I am shattered

[chartas]

My mum and I were extremely close. Although we lived 4 hours apart we spoke twice daily most days and there was that unwritten rule that no matter how trivial she would always listen and give advice. That one person whom you knew would never judge, be practical and tell you what you needed to hear. She had minimal symptoms - and one week from diagnosis she passed away. I feel very honoured to have spent the last 2 weeks of her life with her we laughed, cried, reminisced and told each other all those special things you never expect to have to say to each other but have been of great healing. I have a 3 yr old and an 18 month old and am wondering how I am supposed to do those normal, everyday things that your expected to do when i am shattered and so empty. I am having trouble coming to terms with 'forever' - not hearing her voice, smelling 'her smell', and having her with me. It's been one month since I said goodbye to her, the hardest day of my life. I am hoping to hear from others who have been in my shoes - to know that I am not alone in this awful journey.

[thaker]

Chartas I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband last December to GBM (brain tumour) so I know a little about what you must have gone through during your mum's last few days. His battle lasted 9 months so in a way we had more time to prepare for his passing. I have 2 girls aged 4 and 10. It has only been a month for you so be gentle on yourself. Try to do a few "normal" things everyday if nothing else for the comfort of routine. Over time you will heal and it will become more manageable. You will always miss her but hopefully over time the memories of the last weeks will be replaced by the many happy memories you shared before she fell ill. My older one and I have just joined grief support groups and will be attending our first meeting next Monday. So you see its an ongoing process. I hear you on the finality of death. I keep thinking of our marriage vows..."til death do us part" and somehow they now seem not quite good enough. But he will always be a part of my life. His legacy lives on in our girls and I am who I am today because he loved me for 11 years. Similarly you and your children are your mum's legacy. Over time you will see things around you that remind you of how your mum continues to touch your life. Be kind to yourself Sangeeta