My mom was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. My husband, kids, and I decided to move in with her to help her physically and financially. Prior to move in we agreed on a certain rent amount and my daily duties to help her. Since moving in, my moms cancer (praise the lord) as significantly improved.
It is VERY difficult for my family to deal with our own family lives because of this situation. Any time my kids have tantrums (both under 4 years old), and I discipline them, my mom and her spouse always feel the need to scold them further more or to butt into my parenting. I constantly feel judged because I may not pick up a toy after my child an hour or two after, my moms spouse told me it is hard on him and frustrates him to have us or the kids in the kitchen at the same time preparing a meal as him, they constantly shut off my kids when my kids are just trying to share a picture they drew because my parents are too busy watching tv. My husband and I gave up our dream home and life style in the middle of the city to move to the suburbs (which we don’t enjoy at all) to help and everything that was agreed upon prior to move in hasn’t happened. It’s taking a toll on my marriage and my parenting because I am constantly worried about us being a burden and yet my mothers well being. My husband is very miserable too because he worked so hard to have what we have just to give it up and be disrespected and unappreciated for this move.
I have spoken to both of them so many times in a clear message with a normal toned voice and my mother just starts crying and saying we don’t appreciate how much they do for us to live here when in reality we are here for them both financially and physically. We never wanted to live here, we only did it because my mother wished for it to happen so we can help.
How do I stop feeling like such a big burden and like my kids are burdens to my mom and her spouse
I sent you a private message but also thought I would post here in case anyone else is in a similar position.
Thank you for reaching out to this forum. It sounds like you are in a very difficult position with your family. I sent the link to the Cancer Society in California to you (for local services), but additionally, Cancer Council here in Australia also has some online resources that might be helpful:
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