My Mum has inoperable cancer

[Blue8]

My mother was recently diagnosed with advanced pancreatic cancer. It has been a major shock as there is no history of cancer in our family and there were no symptoms until two months ago when she began experiencing abdominal pain and losing weight. She has begun chemo but this may only prolong her life slightly. She was given three months. I am trying to stay strong for her but this week I am feeling just so sad. I cry several times a day and sometimes I may be okay but then it just hits me. I am concerned about how my Dad will cope. I just can't imagine what life will be like without her here. She is my rock. We used to speak several times a day and she is such an outgoing, generous person - it is just so foreign. I'm scared. She is still young. Please help. I'm hurting - we all are - and I don't know of what I'm feeling is normal. Is grief similar to depression? I just want my Mum to be at peace with what is happening but I think she is still in denial. I pray with her sometimes. Any other tips on how we should be dealing with this? I would like to hear about others' experiences. I care so much for my Mum. She doesn't deserve this.

[kj]

Blue8 What your Mum is going through is possibly denial and her way of dealing with her prognosis at this time.I know from my own experience when you are told you have a certain life expectancy,it is a massive shock,we all react differently to this news,I was able to have surgery for PC and I am still here living beyond the medical expectations for me, however still terminal but life is good ups and downs.I am sure it is harder for my family than me as they see how I am going over time, we talk openly about what is happening,so I possibly understand what you are feeling it is normal to feel the way you do, all that you can do is continue the love and support to Mum and Dad a big ask I know. And Look after yourself as well. And if you or your family need professional help don't be afraid to ask for it we did and it helped but that is a personal decision,I am lucky my Daughter moved back home to help out so if anything happens to me I know my wife will be OK which has taken a huge load off me thinking of you all good luck with the chemo kj