My dad has been diagnosed with stage four oesophagus cancer

[Charl]

I just feel helpless because it’s out of my control.it has now spread to his lymph-node’s 

And he is a alcoholic and he has Cirrhosis of the liver. I think he has given up already. I have children and so do my siblings. I feel like it’s not real

[iloveyoudearly7]

Hi Charl,

Welcome to our supportive forums, I'm dishearted to hear about your father.

If you don't mind me asking, what is his current treatment plan? Is he currently taking any medication for his liver or cancer?

It's okay to feel helpless and sometimes you find yourself second guessing every move you make. If your unsure what to do then simply be there for him and provide a shoulder or whatever you deem necessary.

[RJG]

Hi @Charl ,

Sorry to hear that the evil "C" has entered your universe via your father.

One of my brothers died about 5 years ago from oesophageal cancer. He had been a very heavy drinker for many years until he became a truck driver and had to pretty much give up the booze to keep his job. He had lost his wife to emphysema a few years before his diagnosis and had no real fight in him. This was very sad to see. While the family all encouraged him with treatment, it was his journey and his decisions to make.

So, as said by @iloveyoudearly7, be there for your father. Ask questions for understanding of what he feels, wants and needs, and try to encourage him. But most of all, listen to him and definitely don't nag - it is all up to him.

Give your father a big hug next time you see him - you can never hug too much.

Best wishes and hugs to you and your father,

Rick

[Iyana271]

It is natural to feel helpless when you want to do something for your loved ones but nothing is in your hands. But still, you can give your father lots of love, care & mental support it'll help him to cope up with the pain. Miracles also exist in this world, I hope he'll get back his desire to live again. Sometimes our strong will power is really helpful to fight with any condition or disease.

Lots of love and best wishes!

[Charl]

Thank you for your comment. He has no treatment plan as yet we have an appointment on Friday  to see what the consultant has to say and what treatment is available. He’s not taking any medication for his liver he’s taking pain relief for his cancer however he has started to reduce his alcohol which of course is a good thing and the results  for his liver was better than I thought he does not have cirrhosis of the liver. I’m trying to be there for him as much as I can. He can’t eat solid food so I have been making him soups stews and blending them so he can Eat those. 

[Charl]

Thank you for sharing your story with me Rick . I will take on board what you said as I think I have being nagging a lot. I’m sorry to hear about your brother. It feels comforting to know I’m not alone. 

[Charl]

Thank you for the advice. Since he had some good news about his liver he has seemed more positive and started to cut  his drinking down. He has started to take his medication for the pain which is good, he also said he’s going to go to all the appointments that is needed. I hope you can get through this. Thanks charl 

[Iyana271]

Good luck with the upcoming treatment, I hope the doctor will give him best treatment and he'll get well sooner. Take care of yourself as well and stay calm.