Hi @ellafrances ,   It sounds like your Dad is overwhelmed by all of the sudden bad news and is giving up before entering into battle. While he is struggling to deal with the mental challenge, he will not be able to take on the physical challenges. You must find a way to get him to open up and share his emotions so that he can make rational decisions and move forward, one way or the other...   My brother died from oesophageal cancer at 63. But he had no fight in him. He had lost his wife to emphysema a few years previous and he was always struggling financially. He had a big loving family, but no really close friends of his own. I believe that he considered that the battle with cancer was simply not worth the effort.    At 72, all going well with treatment (and this may be overly optimistic, but not impossible) your Dad could have another 25 years left in him. Your challenge is to find the trigger/s to make him debate (with himself) whether or not the battle with cancer is worth the pain and effort. He may need to talk with others who have managed to win their battle to appreciate what could be and at what cost. And then he needs to let those around him know what he has decided. This internal debate needs to happen quickly because doing nothing will force his hand.   If he decides to take the challenge, then family need to be there to assist him with his battle. And he needs to let you know how hard you can push him - and that may change day to day. But all the time, there is a vision of that bright light at the end of the tunnel.   But if, after considering all that lies ahead,  he wants to give in, then that it is his choice. Forcing him to do things that he considers to be prolonging his suffering will just cause tension and conflict. All you can do in that situation is to help him get to the end in as little discomfort as possible, reminding him (without nagging) of much he is loved and how much he will be missed.    Best wishes to your Dad, you and your family.   Big hugs to all, Rick ... View more

Hi @Charl ,   Sorry to hear that the evil "C" has entered your universe via your father.   One of my brothers died about 5 years ago from oesophageal cancer. He had been a very heavy drinker for many years until he became a truck driver and had to pretty much give up the booze to keep his job. He had lost his wife to emphysema a few years before his diagnosis and had no real fight in him. This was very sad to see. While the family all encouraged him with treatment, it was his journey and his decisions to make.   So, as said by @iloveyoudearly7, be there for your father. Ask questions for understanding of what he feels, wants and needs, and try to encourage him. But most of all, listen to him and definitely don't nag - it is all up to him.   Give your father a big hug next time you see him - you can never hug too much.   Best wishes and hugs to you and your father, Rick ... View more

Hi again, Regarding social activities... Can you get involved in a performance (school or adult) where you can assist and/or participate during the day and then take things home to work on at night (eg, stage props, making outfits)? Another idea is to write a book - autobiography, local history or fiction. Or a mix. Also, you can keep your mind busy by helping out here - become a regular responder to other peoples' posts. Even if you don't have specific knowledge and/or experience, you can help others simply by responding an letting them know that they are not completely alone. More big hugs, Rick ... View more

I used to keep saying to my Dad that he should move closer. But then I realised that his situation was different. He enjoyed running his hobby farm (it was actually about 1,300 Ha, but most of it was virgin bush) and he had good neighbours (that changed after Dad died). And there was always the risk that he would move closer and then we would have to move to follow our careers leaving him stranded once again. So, for my Dad, it was best for him to stay where he was.   But, and I am trying to be realistic rather than sexist, it is likely to be a lot harder for a woman to deal with living alone in a rural setting - I know that my wife could not cope if I had succumbed to my dose of cancer. Perhaps thinking of moving is not a bad idea albeit the timing is not the best to get buyers for property in a rural setting during a period of drought.   The main thing is for you to decide what is best for you! And consider all the possible pros and cons of each option before you set off on your path to greater happiness. You just need to take the first step towards that fork in the road.   Big hugs, Rick ... View more

Hi @Deb1 ,   My Dad was in a similar situation to you. He lived alone on a 1,000 Ha property near Glen Innes. He had overcome bladder cancer and had to deal with a urostomy bag. He survived like this for something like 15 years before he passed away from pneumonia.   He used to call me twice a week. I had 4 siblings, so I expect that he called at least one of us each night. And then he had his property, cows and sheep to look after. He was also interested in dancing and so taught ballroom dancing to teenagers in preparation for debutante balls. And then he would go on a big "holiday" every 3 or so years to visit us all, one at a time. He also had a crush on a younger woman - a case of unrequited infatuation.   This all kept him adequately occupied and he simply got on with whatever needed to get done. The one good thing about my Dad's approach was that he managed to keep off the booze - 3 of his 4 brothers had been alcoholics.   So why not call your family on a regular basis and, even better, talk to them face to face via Skype? And surely you can find some interest that will get you out to mingle with others at night? Next time you are in town, go along to your local rissole or bowls club and join up in one or two evening activities - even if you don't like the particular activity, the companionship can only do you good.   Just get on your bike and start enjoying life while you can.   Let us know how you get on!   Big hugs, Rick ... View more

Great to hear. As is often the case, not as serious as you thought it might be. But best to get things checked sooner than later to avoid the worry over "nothing", or catch it early if it is "something". No worries - we are here for each other no matter how big or small the need. Hugs, Rick ... View more

Hi all,   As far as exposure to high intensity electromagnetic radiation is concerned, less is more.   I believe that there are only a few types of cancer that metastasise in limbs. Consequently, a full body scan would only be recommended for those candidate types.   However, for my gastro-oesophageal cancer, I did ask for the initial scan to include my head because a brother of mine had developed lesions on his brain while dealing (unsuccessfully) with his oesophageal cancer.   Hugs to all, Rick ... View more

Hi @Ma-le,   I realise that it is easier to sing than do, but "Always look on the bright side of life... "   All of the clinical information available points to there not being any major problem. All sorts of things could result in a lump on your neck. The fact that it is a lump should be reassuring that it is a very localised condition and not a systemic problem. Try not to let your nightmares take over your reality.   You have done the right thing in arranging a consult with your GP. Given your medical history, they may refer you to a specialist for a biopsy. But that does not mean that it is anything really sinister (ie, cancer), it is all about getting the right person with the right specialist training to make the right assessment.   In the mean time, be positive and trust that there is no way that anything really nasty could have slipped through the net of care that has been there for you throughout your journey to date.   Let us know what the GP says.   Hugs and best wishes, Rick ... View more

Hi @Lisa2,   Sorry to hear that you are not coping with your chemo treatment.   Short answer Don't give up! Ask for alternatives.   Your situation? It is interesting that you had radical resection rather than total gastrectomy. I assume that your gastro-oesophageal junction (GEJ) must have been cancer free and worth saving to minimise negative flow up your oesophagus. Is this correct? What are the details of your treatment protocol?   My situation Sampling during my initial diagnostic gastroscopy found cancer cells predominantly in the upper portion of my stomach and extending along the lesser curvature. The need to remove my GEJ meant that it would be less problematic for me long-term to 'simply' remove my entire stomach.   My treatment protocol involved: pre-surgery chemo (cisplatin, epirubicin, capecitabine (CEX)) - 3 cycles total gastrectomy - no remaining cancer cells found (first series of chemo did its work) and there was no evidence of the cancer having spread to lymph nodes or other organs post-surgery chemo (oxsliplstin, epirubicin, capecitabine) - 3 cycles   Notes: The change from cisplatin to oxaliplatin was made because the cisplatin was causing severe tinnitus and likely to result in deafness. I only had 2 cycles of oxaliplatin because of the extreme pain experienced during the transfusions.    Other than as mentioned in the 2 notes above, I managed to get through chemo quite unscathed. I did suffer from chemotherapy induced peripheral  neuropathy, but that was managed by the wearing of gloves and warm socks plus avoiding cold drinks. I still (2 years later) have peripheral neuropathy and have to avoid the car's A/C blowing directly onto my hands or feet, but I can hold my drink (ie, literally and not figuratively).   I still suffer from diarrhoea on a regular (pardon the pun) basis, but that is now part of my new "norm".  The new plumbing of my intestinal tract has bedded in and I now eat fairly normal meals with serving size about 50% of pre-surgery.   Recommendation Doctors don't prescribe these toxins to us out of spite - the chemo is meant to help us in the long run. So have a D&M discussion with your oncologist about your side effects to the chemo. There may be other options that will be equally effective that your body is better able to tolerate.  You won't know if you don't ask.   Hugs and best wishes to you, Rick   ... View more

Hi Claire, Is "radio silence" an alias for '@Lehiatus' Thanks for asking - I am fine. Just over 2 years out from surgery, I have progressed from 3 monthly reviews to 6 monthly. That is, I now see my surgeon once per year and my oncologist once per year - 6 months apart (in theory that is - the surgeon tends to run 1 to 2 months behind schedule such that I saw both only 1 month apart for my last reviews). My 2 residual, chronic side-effects of chemo are the tinnitus and peripheral neuropathy. The peripheral neuopathy is worst in my ankles and feet - ankles always ache like they are wrapped in ice packs and my feet are always tingling in a way that makes them feel like they are burning. Such a small price to pay. I sincerely hope for a joyous and pain-free festive season for everyone out there. Best wishes and hugs to all, Rick ... View more