My dad went from possible kidney transplant to finding out he had kidney and lung cancer!!

[Craigyboy1987]

My dad has kidney failure in one of his kidneys and the other one doesn't function at all. He is only dialysis 3 times a week. He was just about to go onto the transplant list however at the last stage of tests they found cancer in his kidney and metastasis on both lungs. From going from a high of potentially going om the kidney transplant list to you have cancer was awful, a big shock and very upsetting for dad and as a family.

He had a consultation about 4 months ago and was told the cancer hadn't spread any further or got much bigger which I guess was good news however my dad can't be treated due to his general health (heart bypass, diabetic, kidney failure). It is so difficult to know my dad has cancer but even worse that it can't be treated. I keep thinking the worse and thinking how long does he have etc. We don't actually know how long he has had it so t of me says he could have had it for a while and has been living with for some time. I want to enjoy my time with my dad and try not to be negative or think "how long does he have". He is 3 grand kid who he adores and my mum also so that keeps him going but it pops into my head now and again that one day my dad won't be here and it's horrible he has this awful illness. 

[Budgie]

Hi Craigyboy1987,

It's not easy, knowing you are dying, & trying to stay positive. The worst thing about it is knowing what you'll miss out on in the years to come, & hoping those you leave behind will cope with everything. My advice to you is to try & let your father know that you will be fine after his passing. Even if that is the total opposite to what you may think at the moment. Rest assured that life goes on, & while the death of someone special is hard to take, it is a natural part of the cycle of life, & something we all will endure.
Talk with him often, about anything & everything; ask about his childhood, what he remembers of his grandparents, etc. Make each day worth living & enjoy your remaining time together.
When the time comes, even now really, if you find you need help with coping, don't forget to seek help through either the Cancer Council, or Lifeline, a counsellor, friend, or whoever. Just remember to talk to someone, because it will help you.

All the best

Budgie