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Need some advise

DebbieR
New Contributor
June 2014

Need some advise

Hi everyone, I'm Jo. It's been a month since my dear friend/sister in law passed away from melanoma cancer. I miss her everyday. But I'm coping ok. I need some advise on how to support my brother and his 2 children. It seems that the kids are coping ok. But I'm not totally convinced. On the other hand my brother isn't coping very well at all. It's breaking my heart. My family hasn't been brought up to talk about our feelings. He seems numb and robot like. I am so frustrated and upset. I just want to fix it for him. Please came someone offer some help, it really hurts to see him like this.
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13 REPLIES 13
yvette975
Occasional Contributor
June 2014

Re: Need some advise

For starters you can't fix it! Nothing can. I lost my husband 3mnths ago we have 3 children 11,8,6. If he is getting out of bed in the morning than he is doing ok . operating on remote is the only way we can function. Our hearts are broken our brains and body numb.just be there, love him and support him it will get better... ox
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yvette975
Occasional Contributor
June 2014

Re: Need some advise

For starters you can't fix it! Nothing can. I lost my husband 3mnths ago we have 3 children 11,8,6. If he is getting out of bed in the morning than he is doing ok . operating on remote is the only way we can function. Our hearts are broken our brains and body numb.just be there, love him and support him it will get better... ox
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yvette975
Occasional Contributor
June 2014

Re: Need some advise

For starters you can't fix it! Nothing can. I lost my husband 3mnths ago we have 3 children 11,8,6. If he is getting out of bed in the morning than he is doing ok . operating on remote is the only way we can function. Our hearts are broken our brains and body numb.just be there, love him and support him it will get better... ox
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beck2930
Contributor
June 2014

Re: Need some advise

I lost my partner 3 years ago and only now am I going along ok. Raising three children as well. We all still have our moments. There are a few books that are really helpful with children. I will get a list of them if you would like just let me know. The Psychologist gave me the names of a couple. I found the first year I was numb so I gather the kids were somewhat like that also. The second year oh boy it hits home like a tonne of bricks. Most that I talk to say they found the second year the worst. We also have a group on facebook called young widows Australia. Its a great little group and very supportive.
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beck2930
Contributor
June 2014

Re: Need some advise

I lost my partner 3 years ago and only now am I going along ok. Raising three children as well. We all still have our moments. There are a few books that are really helpful with children. I will get a list of them if you would like just let me know. The Psychologist gave me the names of a couple. I found the first year I was numb so I gather the kids were somewhat like that also. The second year oh boy it hits home like a tonne of bricks. Most that I talk to say they found the second year the worst. We also have a group on facebook called young widows Australia. Its a great little group and very supportive.
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Minx
Contributor
June 2014

Re: Need some advise

I lost my husband 9 months ago and I too would say we are doing ok! I still am happy if I can get all my three girls out of bed and to school each day 17, 15 1nd 10. My biggest battle is my eldest girl trying to motivate her at times is so very taxing on me, her and the other girls. She suffers anxiety and has signs of depression that I have bought a psychologist on board she always had these problems but having watched her dad go really didn't help. The older two also have access to CanTeen who I really can't speak highly enough of. I know my little one is missing out but there really is nothing out there for her age group. I think the robot comment is very valid Im sure that is how we look/looked from the outside.
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DebbieR
New Contributor
June 2014

Re: Need some advise

Thank you everyone, I really appreciate your Input. Your stories and advise have helped me look at things a lot differently. Bless you all xx
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DebbieR
New Contributor
June 2014

Re: Need some advise

Thank you everyone, I really appreciate your Input. Your stories and advise have helped me look at things a lot differently. Bless you all xx
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beck2930
Contributor
June 2014

Re: Need some advise

You eldest sounds like mine. She is 18 in October and argh. She a good kid don't get me wrong but I swear I need to put a rocket up her backside to get her moving. I am about to send her back to Canteen they are fantastic aren't they. Not sure if you know there is a young widow group on facebook. Great support network. We also plan catchups and get togethers we are all over Australia,
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