New scared parent

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New scared parent

Hi, I just found this site. My Daughter was diagnosed with Advanced stage 4 cervical cancer in April this year. Since then both my Wife and I have been trying to deal with every emotion under the sun. I know we all go thru it. As the main earner in our family I have found it easier to get stuck into my business and try not to dwell on what might happen. I guess that is not the healthy choice. I now find myself going thru periods of numbness and I just don't want to feel anything. Then all of a sudden, at a completly unexpected time, it hits me. I was at the supermarket the other day and I bent down to see what was on the bottom shelf. All of a sudden it hit me and I couldn't get back up again. Do other go thru this? My Wife did nothing but cry for the first two months, she could not cope with life and was just a complete mess. But now she is ok. She goes over and stays with our daughter a few days a week, caring for her and her children. Her Husband cannot do much as he badly injured his back a few years ago. This is all helping my Wife to cope but I have no idea what to do for myself. Is this normal? Is it just me? I just don't know anymore. We have no definite prognosis for our Daughter. As well as mainstream treatments she is also undergoing alternative treatments by reputable people. This is all helping her tremendously. The doctors were shocked to see how improved her blood count was and how other things had improved. I guess we can just take a bit of hope from that. The worst thing is not knowing.
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Re: New scared parent

Hello, Sorry to hear about what you and your family are going through. I just wanted to say hi. I'm a cervical cancer survivor and have also been one of the carers for my Mother who has had breast cancer twice. Take care of each other, reach out to others for support as much as you can (this site is a great start). I'm sure you will find support on here when you need it. All the best.
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Re: New scared parent

I am going through the same up and down feeling about my Mum's cancer. She has liver cancer and her prognosis is two years. Some days I am coping, some days I am positive, and other days I'm teary and depressed and not sure how I'm going to get through it. I'm throwing myself into my CFA training the same way you are throwing yourself into work. I have a friend who did the same thing when her father had cancer and she said she doesn't know how she would have survived that time if she didn't have something to distract herself with. I figure that as long as the thing you are throwing yourself into brings you pleasure or gives you some sense of purpose and helps you forget and enjoy life a bit then it's a healthy and good thing. Especially if they are aware and are a compassionate support for you. I know that training for me is such a respite. I completely forget everything else for a few hours each week while I learn to bowl a hose or hold a long-town branch. I feel my immune system needs those times, otherwise I'm going to run myself into the ground with worry and my children need me. Your bread winning role is so valuable in this situation. You are doing something really practical and purposeful to help. I think the danger is probably if you are finding the escape is robbing your family of your much needed emotional and physical presence and support, and if it's becoming a hindrance to really processing what's going on properly so that you yourself can deal with it. Having said that, I've also confronted the issue head on and read all the literature. I know what is coming at the worst. That was hard to do and I ended up very depressed but I figured that if I deal with it in small stages, then I'm preparing myself somehow and making me more able to support Mum. I'm dealing with it in little stages, because what else can you do? I also live a long way away from Mum so can't support her directly. I support her by contacting her every week so she can offload to me and talk to me in regard to her fears and worries and hopes. I read the literature she reads on healing cancer and support her in her decisions to fight it and don't burden her with my private worries. I love her and make sure she knows I am there for her. That's the best I can do from here. I am so sorry for your daughter's diagnosis. it's so hard. I had a cervical cancer scare a few years back. It's good to hear her blood count is up though, and she is very lucky to have such a loving father. The above is no professional opinion, simply how I'm coping with a loved one with cancer at this stage in my journey.
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