For those in this thread who have lost a loved one due to this horrible disease. I mourn your losses too as my best friend being my father passed away 3 weeks ago after a procedure in a hospital to try and treat his chronic pain from terminal prostate cancer.
I have been on a rollercoaster the past 3 weeks, sometimes up, realising he suffers and moans no more. Down for other reasons inclusive of its not much consolation for me personally, that having broken free of the clutches of this horrible monster being cancer that he is now buried and I feel his loss as if it all happened again at this very moment. My father was like my mum and dad rolled in one.
I too am in disbelief as I wake up and realise I won't hear him calling out for me, I have nowhere to drive to go and see him, I won't see his bright blue eyes or the mischief in them. My father wanted to so deseperately live, even if it was in pain, just to see his family and close friends again each day. He told me its all he had. His strength to live just another day despite the horrendous pain he suffered in his bones and the rest of his body amazed those that knew him, I will never forget the spirit he had despite the most horrible destiny he was given.
All we are left with are tears and our memories, and eventually, your tears become less because you realise your loved ones are still with you in heart and mind and those precious memories they gave you are permanent. And that is your loved one's legacy for you.
There spirits and hearts have moved on to the next journey, all that is left on this earth is the ill shell that was ravaged by cancer. And with that I'm comfortable knowing that my father is watching over me and that I will go forward with ways to honour my father's memory and ensure his death due to cancer wasn't in vain.
On the evening of the 17th of August I thought I would never find the strength or peace I needed to pick up the pieces of my heart's tragedy, but 3 weeks later I realise I wouldnt' be my father's daughter if I didn't do what dad would expect me to do. Live like tommorow may not come and experience life as much as I can, to take chances and risks that may change my life, and to allow my hurt and broken heart to heal by showing I'm stronger than my grief and to go ahead and do wonderful things with my own life until we meet again.
Once you realise your loved one's spirit lives on within you, you have then found peace and inspiration to carry on and do your best with your own life.
When you least expect it your inner strength will get you through anything.
Bless.
