Hi Pinkeye, I feel as though you have answered your own question in a way. As a wife of a cancer patient, I know I would love to hear my husband tell me that he has decided to other things with his life in the future. He is not a point to where he is willing to give up his profession as yet, and that is fine as we are still in relatively early days. You have been through your treatment, and decided to give your career one more go and it sounds as if it is no longer the statisfying position it once was. Your wife and family would much prefer to have you at home and being with them creating wonderful memories than seeing you suffering further with your health because of your position. You could start to see this as an opportunity to start a whole new career or a chance to take it easy for a little while and get to know your family again. I understand that would be important for you to have a sense of being active and contribution, and I am sure that there would be so many other areas that you would be able to do this without the pressure of your current position. Ultimately it is up to you and when you are ready to move on. Only you will know that. As I said earlier I would love my husband to making plans for life after his treatment and our future together, however at this point in time his career is one of the things that is keeping him positive and looking to the future. Good luck with it all. ... View more

Margro, how wonderful to hear somebody say how it is for them. I too have been struggling with the continuous positive speak. My husband has stage 4 Colon cancer and the outlook is not looking all that positive at this stage. While he has done the man thing and not really talks about all this, I have been struggling with my thoughts and feelings of anger, frustration, sadness and fear. While the importance of being positive cannot be over looked, I also know that the expression of the other feelings must be expressed also. I was really feeling like I was the only one in the world that was not coping with this dreadful time in our life. After counselling and speaking to a wonderful man, we came to the conclusion that the positive speak has taken place of the no talking at all about feelings. I have found that hitting the pillow, writing, and sitting in a bath of warm water and allowing myself to have a good cry works wonders. The anger and sadness do need to be expressed as they are normal feelings and when expressed appropiately allow for the day to move forward with some sunshine. Once again thank you for expressing your feelings in this forum. I am sure that it will give others some freedom with what they are feeling. Good luck with everything. ... View more

Congratulations Pinkeye for taking the step to give in your notice. It must have been so hard for you and of course facing a future without the identity of your occupation will be daunting. I believe it takes a very special and caring human being to know when the time is right for such a change. I am sure that you will find other areas that you will be able to contribute to using the skills you have as a teacher and mentor to the younger generation and receive as much pleasure and satisfaction from. As far as personal developement work shops, I could not reccommend them high enough. I may of course be a little bias here as it is my profession as a life and meditation coach, however to be able to meditate give such a sense of peace and being able to cope with what is going on around you. Certainly search for the programmes that are around your area, and if you are up to travelling then something that could be a little further afield. I know that if I had not done the work that I have, I certainly would not have been able to cope with my husband's illness. Keep smiling Pinkeye and know that your wife and family will be so grateful to have their husband and father around them. Congratulations once again. ... View more

Hi Janice, I have just been through this with my husband. It was so bad that I had to take him to the hospital to get things moving again. Pear juice is really good, however the Oncologist suggested a cocktail of Senna granules(1tablespoon) and 20mls of Agarol in a glass of milk or with ice cream. This has worked a treat. Apparently a very old fashioned remedy but has worked and he now has one of these a day to keep things moving. It took 3-4 cocktails to get things on the go but still it worked. I was making him 3 a day to start with but now back to just 1. Good luck with it all, oh and just for a little while try a fairly liquid diet. Eg. milkshakes, soups etc. Of course check with your doctors first but this has worked for my husband.   ... View more

After two tests we finally have some good news. Our wonderful Doctor has perservered and found a way into my husbands Liver and he will go ahead with the S.I.R.T. treatment in two weeks time. We are now praying that the internal radiation will do its job and blast these tumors into obsurity. While we are not looking forward to the possible side effects, we are so looking forward to a possible reduction in the tumor size and a more healthy future. I will keep you informed. ... View more

Dear Mary, I can so relate to exactly what you are about to go through and what  you are feeling. I was in the exact same position that you are now, 12 months ago. You ask how to relate to all of this and the journey you are about to embark upon. There is no easy answer, each journey is unique. Take it one step at a time. That is all you can do. More than likely your husband will not talk about how things are for him, please try not to take this personally. I did for a very long time, and it almost destroyed me. Men will not talk about their illness with those closest to them, I think they feel as though they are protecting us. I did get to a point where I asked for permission to express my feelings in front of him as I could not hold it in any longer. He was fine with this in the latter stages. In the beginning, the shower became my friend as did driving in the car alone. This is where I could cry, scream, shout, or just be sad. Once those emotions were expressed I could then deal with things easier. If he is going to need a porta-cath for chemo make sure that they put it in the opposite side to where you sleep. This is something we did not even think about until after it was done and I could no longer rest my head on his shoulder. You may find that he will not want you to touch him or hug him, once again it was only in the latter stages he told me and I realised how sore and sensitive he was. The chemo will do that. You may find personality changes, it is the chemo, they will tell you that it does not effect the personality, it does. Once we realised and had it confirmed we were then able to treat this with humour. Humour became our friend. Your husband will more than likely want things to continue as normal and this will be hard at times for you. Try to be patient, and believe me at times it is hard. Find an outlet for your anger and frustration. Writing was great for me. You ask about staying positive. Well while it is important and everyone will tell you, you have to be this way. Sometimes you just don't feel that way and things will not be positive. Believe me there are days when you will feel negative and down, this is OK. Remember life before Cancer, there were days when you felt not so good or positive and it was OK. For some reason "they" will tell you it is not OK with Cancer. The bottom line is that this situation sucks, and it is a long and bumpy road. These are my experiences, yours will be your own and  while similar will be different. I would be more than willing to help you further via email if you wish. Good luck and my thoughts are with you both. Sharon. ... View more

Hi Mark, I don't know you and can only imagine the extreme frustration and disappointment you must be experiencing at present. I do not have Cancer, and care for my husband who does, and have watched his face each time we have been delivered the news that the disease has spread. Take care and try to find some way of expressing your feelings and frustration. Good luck with everything. ... View more