Vulva Cancer

New Contributor

Vulva Cancer



So I'm a kiwi, born & bred in NZ until I strayed away from home at 20 years old. My mother (56), is in NZ & has just been diagnosed with Vulva Cancer yesterday. And I'm not sure how to feel. I'm an only child & my mother was a solo mum, she's my best friend, she worked her butt off for me my entire life & now, I'm thousands of miles away & can't help her through one of the toughest times in her life. I still feel like her little girl, and I really am struggling with the news.

Earlier in the year my mum had an abnormal smear (she hadn't had a smear in over 10 years), she waited four months for an appt for a colopscopy, she had a colopscopy & biopsy two weeks ago, which was only meant to be a small incision, she ended up getting a cone biopsy & had stiches, from what i gathered anyway - she attempted to hide it from me, that's a long story - results came in yesterday and she's been referred for further testing to find out the stage, etc. It's such a long process, I'm so scared for her. I feel so useless being so far away, but I can not up and leave my life here either - work, partner, etc.


I'm not sure what I wanted to get out of posting this here, maybe it was just for someone to hear me. I don't have a huge support network here. I also don't know how to deal with it all myself (I also feel so selfish, it's not me who's sick & I'm worrying about myself & how to deal with it). Does the process usually take this long? What sort of treatment options come with this sort of cancer? I have so many questions. 

Regular Contributor

Re: Vulva Cancer

Hi Etak,


I'm very sorry for your mum.   Your feelings & worries are all valid & normal, so don't be so hard on yourself.   It's great that you've reached out to this forum.   If nothing else, it's as you said, just so someone can hear you.  Although I hope there's someone who can give you advice on what to  expect.  


Waiting for results can seem to take forever, & sometimes they can.   I think it's one of the worst parts of any medical situation.   Try not to worry.  Things will be what they will be.  Worrying will not change anything for the better.  Hopefully, the news, when it  comes will be the best possible.


I think you should talk to your mum about everything, if you can.  I know some people don't like to talk about having cancer, especially to family members as it can be so confronting.  But talking is one of the best medicines.  Download to ease the mind.


Please let us know how things go.





New Contributor

Re: Vulva Cancer

Hi Budgie,


Thank you for your response, it helps to know there is someone out there listening & your advice is much appreciated. 


We're still waiting to hear from the oncologist, which was meant to be yesterday - hopefully tomorrow she will get some news. I know it's driving her crazy! As I would it expect it to. 


I did try chatting to her about it, she doesn't seem to be very open just yet, most likely trying to get her head around it all. Just as I am.


I'll let ya know how we go, thank you again Budgie!

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