Advice or ideas to help

[Michelle21]

My husband was diagnosed with cancer in January this year unfortunately he had an aggressive kind of cancer he had no symptoms and we caught it late. He passed away in April this year so was very quick how things happened they couldn’t find out what cancer he had and was diagnosed with an unknown cancer. I have 3 children 10, 13 and 15. My 10 year old doesn’t know how to cope it was especially hard yesterday being Father’s Day but it was also my 13 year old daughters birthday, he couldn’t understand why her birthday was on Father’s Day and was angry at her for having her birthday on this particular day. Canteen is for kids 12 and over and I think it would  be beneficial for him to talk to someone he is getting quite cranky at home and not sure how to deal with it. I also have the Braca2 gene and am thinking of having a double macectomy and hysterectomy to help me and be with the kids as long as I can . Anyone have any advice , thoughts or hints. Grateful for anything at the moment 

[Katekat]

Hi @Michelle21,

Welcome to the community 

Have you come across the children's book 'In the Rainbow' by Tracey Newnham? I think this would be a good starting point for the kids.

In the Rainbow by Tracey Newnham

A little bit about the book: "When caring for her two young boys and partner throughout his cancer journey, Tracey Newnham recognised the need for a resource to assist families living through such an overwhelming time. In the Rainbow encourages adults and children to speak up, reach out, love and support each other. This story educates us all about the real emotions shared during illness and grief. Themes of perseverance, strength, resilience emotional intelligence and, most importantly, the power of faith, love and trust are explored. In the Rainbow has been written and illustrated with authenticity and in loving memory of a superhero Dad who lived in constant amazement of his superhero sons."

You can read more here on her website: https://intherainbow.com.au/. This book has also been reviewed by the University of NSW.

CanTeen are also perfect to be in contact with, they do work with children who have experienced the loss of a parent to cancer - they also have a children's community which might be a good space for some of your children. Well worth giving them a call!

We also have a Telephone Support Group which runs for 6 weeks, for those who have experienced the loss of a loved one to cancer. This might be a good option for you  I just sent over a welcome email before, so if you like, respond to that with your phone number and I'll have one of our facilitators call you.

Regarding the braca2 gene, there would be others that may have had to consider this. Can anyone out there offer Michelle21 some wisdom?

Cheers,

Kate

Online Community Manager

[Marg3]

Hi Michelle,

I have been where you've been and can only add to the very thorough post above that the 2 things that helped my grieving son (he was 17 when his dad died last year) was keeping communication open with me and his sister and getting him to the school counsellor. She has been amazing and he still sees her now.

Hope this helps...