An important message for you: it isn't the end.

Highlighted
New Contributor

Re: An important message for you: it isn't the end.

Hi all, my name is sandrina, 3 months ago I was diagnosed with lung cancer, I have small cells carcinoma, which means they can get rid of the small cells but they will come back. The cancer in my right lung is moving it’s way around my windpipe, my Oncologist is telling me they need to do chemo straight away I have just finished my 2 nd lot of chemo lost most of my hair after the first chemo. I feel like I am just going thru the motion . I have a family that stresses me out to the brink of why am I doing this ?? I want to beat this, but the more they stress me the more I think I should just give up. The support of my family that said they would be there for me has gone.

Reply
0 Kudos
Highlighted
Regular Contributor

Re: An important message for you: it isn't the end.

Sandrina - I can only give you an answer specific to how *I* see the world, and I understand that

a) I might be crazy; and

b) there are many other ways to see the world

 

But for me .. if friends or family treat you poorly, they either

a) don't love/respect/care; or

b) don't understand

 

If it's (a) then it can't be cured.  I cut them loose and choose to have only positive relationships in my life.  If it's (b) it can be educated by clearly and carefully explaining what you need.

 

The thing about cancer is that it's *YOU* in the spotlight.  They are supporting cast.  If they can't do their jobs, you need to re-focus and make sure you tackle this fight in whatever way best fits you.  (Some people choose not to have treatment - crazy in my opinion - but everybody has choices available --- the main point is that they are YOUR choices.  Allow people to help you, influence you, advise you, guide you - but if they only give you stress and heartache - you need to do whatever is necessary to remove that noise while you fight for your life).

 

If they care, understand or both:  they should respect your wishes and help not hinder you.

 

Just my opinion.  Sorry you're in a difficult situation, I had to be very protective of my own mental health when dealing with cancer, and I feel strongly that every cancer patient needs to do the same thing.

Highlighted
New Contributor

Re: An important message for you: it isn't the end.

Thank you, I am trying to get myself in a good place. I don’t want to overthink, I understand my daughter who is 39 who says she sees me but I’m not me, and that she doesn’t want to be around while I go for all my appts. I think she’s scared lost and lonely like I am, but I am also hurting too. My husband and youngest son are bi polar and my other son is a schizophrenic psychosis and I have always looked after them, but now it’s taking its toll on me. I am putting in for a transfer (house) and I am thinking of moving there by myself for my own peace of mind and health. Thank you I will keep my head up and just keep moving.

Reply
0 Kudos
Highlighted
Regular Contributor

Re: An important message for you: it isn't the end.

Hi There

 

My name is Simon.  I'm 48 years old now.  I hope to live to be at least 60 (because by then, my little children will have grown into adulthood).  I have love in my life, and my wife and children live in the light of that love.

 

It's a real gift, because 3.5 years ago I was diagnosed with pre-terminal cancer.

 

I'm writing because my timeline might encourage you if you're dealing with the grief and fear of a serious cancer diagnosis (and what cancer is NOT serious?).

 

September 2016:  Diagnosed with advanced tonsil cancer.  Starting to spread.  6 months to live without successful treatment.  Treatment considered a 50/50 shot unless the cancer was already spreading  (but over time discovered the odds were better than that .. on diagnosis I was told my survival was a coin toss at best).  For the first week after that diagnosis I was untethered and had no idea whether the cancer had just metastasized.

 

December 2016 (Christmas eve):  Finished treatment.  It was an ordeal, I won't try to downplay it, all in all the treatment and side effects were somewhere between Awful and Horrible.  But I put my head down and got through it.

 

March 2017:  Post treatment PET scan.  I was told "it's inconclusive - there's so much damage and inflammation, the test has no way to differentiate between that and cancer)

 

May/June 2017:  After agonising months of waiting, get the all clear PET scan.

 

December 2017:  First anniversary.  Likelihood of recurrence dips slightly

 

December 2018:  Another dip in the likelihood of recurrence.  Still having checks every 6 weeks, camera up the nose, physical exam.

 

December 2019:  Three years out, statistically take a major dip in the likelihood of recurrence.

 

So now I'm waiting on 5 years cancer free, then (fingers crossed) 10, 15, 20.  The doctor said I can reasonably expect to live a full life. 

 

Yeah there are side effects, and yeah life is not what it was.

 

BUT I AM ALIVE.

 

Maybe your diagnosis is better than mine was, maybe worse.  But mine was pretty grim.  I got through it.  Take heart.  You're still alive.  YOU CAN TOO.

Post new topic
Talk to a health professional
Cancer Council support and information 13 11 20Mon - Fri 9am - 5pm
Cancer Information and Support

Online resources and support

Access information about support services, online resources and a range of other materials.

Caring for someone with cancer?

Find out what resources and support services are available to assist you.