Diagnosed with Kidney cancer

[Catty]

Hi Colin,

That too is a very inspiring story, which at this moment I really need. 
I hoped against hope that it would be a blood clot or blood in the area but all the specialists here at the PA have had a look and I was advised yesterday that it’s a terminal cancer. 
to say I’m shocked and devastated is not even close to my feelings. I’m so scared. I know everyone says it, but I don’t want to die. I haven’t really been given a chance at life yet, not married, no children, never been in love, all those things even tho I am 45. 
mans I want to scream “it’s not fair and why me” and I know everyone feels the same. 

I just really thought I had a chance to beat this and get back a normal life. 
I have so much on my mine like my cat in a cattery back in Darwin, my unit and all my stuff. 
my biggest fear has always been “not being here” not existing and not being anything anymore. My brain not having thought and stuff. 
mom still prepared to do what I need with chemo etc once I speak with the group but gee, I just wish I felt I had more options like doing a surgery to remove the affected areas (now two spots on pancreas and one in abdo lining). 
my mum is so brave and is being so strong for me when I really wish she didn’t have to be in that position. 

[Budgie]

Oh @Catty, I am very sorry that it's terminal. Your Mum's not the only brave one, you are too. Go ahead & scream & cry, yell at the world. When you're done with that, for now, get all your affairs in order. When you've done that, get on with living the rest of your life. YOU'RE NOT DEAD YET! Don't give up. There will be drastic changes in your life, & you will learn to live with these.
Make sure you utilise everything available to you to make your life easier; this could include a social worker, dietitian, palliative care nurses etc. Don't forget that we are here on this site if you have any questions etc.

There is energy inside your body. It can't just cease to exist, it has to go somewhere when we die, so I believe there will always be a part of you here on this plane of existence. I don't know exactly where or how, but that's something we will all find out in the end. I'm not scared of dying, I'm not looking forward to it either, but I think the worst part about knowing your end is coming earlier than expected, is knowing what you're going to miss out on. It hurts!
❤

Budgie

[Catty]

So I’ve had my first immunotherapy treatment the other day.  The process was easy and painless however unfortunately I had been vomiting for a few days prior and also when I arrived. I have to say the nurses there are some of the most kind caring and friendly people in this world! You would have to be to work in such a role I would imagine but I just can’t praise them enough! 
there was so much to go through and so much information but it is so important to understand what to look out for. Had a visit from just about the whole team; social worker, palliative care nurse (had another home visit the next day for all of their info), dietician, chemist and pharmacist.  Gosh I have to say I feel so supported with such a team behind me!
so now I’m at home and letting my body do it’s thing. I don’t have another treatment til the end of the month. I just want this to work and be successful and be able to get more enjoyment in my life like I read from you guys here supporting me.  
I want to thank you too. This is a great community to share stories and encourage one another! 

[Budgie]

Hi @Catty,

I have to agree with you about the nurses in the cancer wards. They are extremely wonderful people.
I hope you have success with the immunotherapy. Unfortunately, it didn't work for me.
Take care of yourself & heal up well.

Budgie