about 2 weeks ago I was diagnosed with melanoma. The week prior, waiting for the biopsy results where the worst of my life. I knew I had it, but waiting for the confirmation was horrendous, but once confirmed a calm has come over me. I’m two operations down and have had a SLB, so more waiting, but I’m good. Has anyone else reacted this way? I’ve also made the decision not to know the staging. I’ll do what ever the doctors say I need to do to fight but I don’t want to be given stats and figures about how long I have. I’m just not interested, this is my journey and who knows how I’ll go. My husband is fantastically supportive, the diagnosis has only made us closer, but I’ve asked him not to tell anyone. I don’t want sympathy, people treating me differently or putting me in my grave early, so only a very few people know. I’m wondering is this fair on him, as the people who know are my supports, he has no one. I’m just worried if he tells someone they’ll tell someone and then boom everyone knows.
Maybe I am just wierd, but my view on whether or not to tell others about your condition is...
SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS!!!
Let everyone know that you are dealing with it. Once they see that you don't need (or want) pity, then they are generally more prepared to talk about it with a view to learning and understanding. They hopefully get it into their heads that they should seek medical advice about any symptoms that don't quite seem right. This might just help someone to get treatment earlier and a have a much better prognosis.
My mantra these days is "If something doesn't seem quite right, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!"
Best wishes to you for your journey,
I was also diagnosed with Melanoma at the start of the year. I had a small biopsy which confirmed Melanoma then had to wait for surgery to get a final diagnosis and staging. It was on the side of my head, so I had to see a plastic surgeon, so that was scary in itself! The waiting was terrible, we have a young family and have had melanoma in my immediate family so I was familiar with this awful disease. Its totally up to you to find out as little or as much as you feel appropriate. I wanted to know everything, probably researched the internet to much. But in the end its my specialists that I trusted to give me the information I needed. My melanoma was an early stage and since its been removed I'm just on regular checks. Good luck with everything! And like you I didn't tell anybody except for family for a couple of weeks, but in the end I needed help from my friends so I let them know. It was the best thing I did.
Hi Kate, it's a very personal decision whether to tell anyone or not and who to tell and it does change over time. Partners of people with cancer can have a rough time and yours may well appreciate some support, he may be able to find a local support group or he might just like to have a chat to someone, maybe simply talk to him about it, good luck Kate ......David oh, and ps. your certainly not alone in the way you reacted to your news, i think nearly any reaction to a cancer diagnosis is probably 'normal' , really there are no normals and not normals , simply trust your own journey and feelings. .....d
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