Well it's been twelve months since my initial diagnosis, one year since I got on the rollercoaster and plunged into the unknown. When the doctor told me I had bone metasteses in just about every bone in my torso plus the top of one of my femurs, and showed me the scans that looked like swiss cheese, I was in such a state of shock I hardly knew what he was saying. It took another week to determine that breast cancer was the cause of all this. Then I had radiation to help deal with some of the pain so that I could walk properly. Then four rounds of AC chemo, the first of which put me in hospital for two weeks with neutropenia. Now I'm on Tamoxifen and painkillers.
I guess that I'm lucky because the lumps in my breast have shrunk(they never bothered to operate, what with the horse having bolted), and my bone scans show no new sites. Then I got a break in my pelvis; more radiation for pain, three to four months to heal. Apart from that, my hair has grown back and looks fabulous, thick and curly. I've been able to keep working, just two days a week instead of full-time. I'm fairly well except for the tiredness. I can't believe how much I sleep now, ten hours a night plus nanna naps several days a week. I'm hoping that once my fracture heals that I can get out and start walking and that will help me be less exhausted.
I know I shouldn't complain when everything's going so well, but the uncertainty of it all gets to me. I'm only 49, this shouldn't have happened to me, at least not until I'm older. I feel cheated and alone. I'm hoping to find someone else with a similar story, someone who has advanced breast cancer and understands what it's like....
