Returning to normal

[#1]

Sarah I believe most people will never stop doing and distracting and avoiding until a red bus hits them and then they may not have time to adjust and accept with regret that they have successfully avoided awareness of life for XXyears. My credo is Cogito ergo sum. I think it is out of fashion these days. i.e. introspection You and your partner have been given a wakeup call. (Repeating myself I know) but savour it. best wishes jimf hold on...what's that on TV?

[matsy]

Hello Sarah, Darkiescorner, Jim & Reindeer (& Flight!) Thank you all for your comments - every little bit helps. I feel so comforted to talk to people who are all on the same level! I guess what I am going through at the moment is transition...accepting that life is not what I thought it was. And the fact that this acceptance takes time is slooowly proving itself to me. Not always comfortable, is it! The rushing around of day to day distractions (coffee, consumption..) always has that ugly side to it. And now we can finally see another side, and the beauty in it. What a journey to receive that priveledge! Sarah, I recently read Dorothy Rowe's "Guide to Life". Not sure if this would be to your taste, but I found pertinent to my own issues. I'd be interested to know what you've been reading too :) Take care all

[sarah]

All so true.. It's funny when it's talked about, it comes out as such a cliche - yet when you really see it, via the experience, it's a profound insight and a heightened, sensory epiphany. Translating to words just doesn't always work. Maybe that's what art is for... jpfethe, my current partner is a new adventure since; he hasn't experienced such things. The feeling that we are sometimes at odds because of this gap is quite present in my awareness. Thankfully though, like a good friend, he does listen with polite interest while I have my way with him on my occasional ramblings :) I am so grateful for this site. I Don't feel so alone, and singled out anymore!! matsy, I've read lots of weird and wonderful books that have pushed my to the limits of questioning. I haven't heard of this one but I will google it to discover more. Thanks for the lead!

[#4]

Dear Sarah, partner and all, When I was 28 yrs old (a lifetime ago ha ha) I almost died of an illness. I hung in the balance for 3 months+ and I was not given much chance of surviving and as a "kid" at the time I wasn't coping with it at all. I had a doctor who was also a friend and eventually a mentor. Robert was his name, he was old and wise. He gave me two books that played no small role in my emotional survival. I have also lived ever since in a very different mode of thinking and living. They are not books for the faint hearted and once read the thoughts they bring cannot be reversed or un-thought. I know both are available in on-line bookstores. They used to be standard texts for psycologists and both deal with the universal existentialist dilemmas. They are not religious works at all. "The Denial of Death" by Ernest Becker "Siddhartha" by Herman Hesse The first one in particular can be quite shattering to a casual reader and expremely revealing to someone seeking self-truths. regards jimf

[#5]

I absolutely agree Sarah, we are meant to question this thing called 'life' and what it means. I sometimes think that the world around us is working hard at trying to distract us from this question, hence the massive amount of sports, politics, religion, TV, radio, loud music, more and more 'things' one has to have and more and more shops - things to distract. The world truly works very hard at making us numb and dumb to what it is really all about. Of course, one can choose not to know, that that's fine, but when you are put in a position like you describe then that is the only course you can take because all distractions are ripped away and you are faced with the deeper questions. A child asks "Who am I? How did I get here?" and usually there are parents to answer but no one is there to answer the big question - "Who are WE? and how did WE get here?" and I believe we have an inherited right to know. Fortunately there are plenty of hypothesis around and we can grab on to them if we find the water to deep, but really, if you are a logical thinking person, do you really want those fragile rafts? Now it would seem that cancer is one of the few things that will make us stop and consider the deeper things in life outside the glitter and gloss, and I think that is good. I have had reason to seek deeply for years for answers to these questions and, of course I haven't found the right answers yet, but my word I have learned a lot and maybe that is the big thing - to learn. I do know that I will keep on reading and thinking and hoping to meet people like you who also question and one day, you never know we might find the real reason for it all - it could happen 🙂

[#6]

Ya know matsy, I seriously think there is an up side to this cancer thing. It rips away all pretensions and forces us to face fact of life in a way we never would if it didn't happen. It's what I said to Sarah, there is too much glitz out there trying hard to keep us from questioning things, but eventually something happens that, if we have the courage, makes us face this question 'life', and what it's all about. The big hint? Never presume - anything... not even life!! 🙂 ESPECIALLY not life! There are too many unanswered questions and they are there for us to think about on any level you choose to take.

[matsy]

Thanks Jimf Yes, time to get out Siddhartha - I think I was too young the last attempt. And I will definitely check out the Becker one. I feel confident about trusting all you guys! Any more???

[sarah]

I just had a look at Dorothy Rowe's "Guide to Life" and "The Denial of Death" by Ernest Becker. They are both themed in particular psyche states, such as depression. Thanks for the pointer 🙂

[matsy]

Rowe's book was very pertinent to me personally, so I can imagine it not suiting everyone. But there's still a chance it would be perfect for a few people. (Sarah, I was reminded of this when I read your words 'vendetta' in your other post!) So not 'essential' reading but I put it out there just in case... Cheers everyone