Two years ago today I had my first chemo session. Beforehand one of things that bothered me was that the people there would know that I was scared and I don't like it when people know I'm scared. The reason they would know that I was scared was simply because, obviously, anyone would be scared when starting chemo.
Just through a quirk of scheduling my first session was in bed in a room off the main room where I had all my subsequent treatments. I think it was good to be a bit more separate and quiet the first day. Although I was scared, I was also calm and keen to get on with it.
The nurse was a lovely man and I really liked him. He asked if my middle name was equanimity so I guess I came across as calm. He had a great cheerful slightly teasing manner that suited me perfectly. My mum met him at a later appointment and she just thought he was strange.
I cannot say enough about how much I loved all the nurses in the chemo room. The man who looked after me the first day was my favorite but they were all wonderful. They would chat with me and help me with the crossword if they could. They made such a difference to a potentially miserable experience. My sister also came and sat with me which was great.
When I think back to chemo I don't really remember now the feeling ill and tired. I remember the nurses. I remember the being bald but I don't remember that as a bad thing I remember it as being really excellent. There were many advantages to it. It's funny as my hair was short beforehand but since chemo I have let it grow and now it the longest it's been for nearly 10 years. I think I have developed some cancer-related hang-up about not cutting my hair. It grew back curly at first and then straight but the bottom section is all still curly. It will be a big thing for me when I eventually get those curls cut off.
