I'm 33 years old now and I'm pritty sure I've had testucular cancer since I was 20. I first noticed a lump around that time but did what most men do and just ignored it. Now I'm definitely know that was a tumour as both testicles have lumps and I can tell the cancer is now through out my body. The reason I didn't got doctors years ago was because I thought it was too late, now I know this isn't true. When you hear about getting it fast can mean months and years is still fast. I just can't make my self go to the doctors as I know that is it. I can tell it's spread too my lymph nodes as my collar bone pops out, and other areas. Im 33 and I think it first happened around 20 for ten years I pritty much had no symptoms but now I do feel ill. Tied, depressed anxious, but still have had no really bad symptoms ie cough blood or pass out. I moved to Australia five years ago originally for a year as I though it would more than likely be my last year, but I'm still alive and now I've just had a new baby. But every day gets harder. I'm scared to go doctors now and I can no longer pretend it's not happening, but would want nothing more to see my son grow up. Having him has also gave me comfort knowing I will live on in him. I have no I deal what is going to happen, I suppose I just think one day I'll drop dead. If I knew there was even 20 percent chance they could fix me I would go. Every day I ask my self why didn't you go all those years ago but I just don't know. Then I think if I did my life would of been different I wouldn't of ended up in Australia met the girl I really love and had a beautiful boy, I iust want to see him grow up and get married. I just feel it's gone way too far now. My partner doesn't know. I'm scared and drink to forget about it. I just think how could they possibly fix me if its spread to lungs brain liver etc which I can feel.
