Can't make my self go to the doctors

Not applicable

Can't make my self go to the doctors

I'm 33 years old now and I'm pritty sure I've had testucular cancer since I was 20. I first noticed a lump around that time but did what most men do and just ignored it. Now I'm definitely know that was a tumour as both testicles have lumps and I can tell the cancer is now through out my body. The reason I didn't got doctors years ago was because I thought it was too late, now I know this isn't true. When you hear about getting it fast can mean months and years is still fast. I just can't make my self go to the doctors as I know that is it. I can tell it's spread too my lymph nodes as my collar bone pops out, and other areas. Im 33 and I think it first happened around 20 for ten years I pritty much had no symptoms but now I do feel ill. Tied, depressed anxious, but still have had no really bad symptoms ie cough blood or pass out. I moved to Australia five years ago originally for a year as I though it would more than likely be my last year, but I'm still alive and now I've just had a new baby. But every day gets harder. I'm scared to go doctors now and I can no longer pretend it's not happening, but would want nothing more to see my son grow up. Having him has also gave me comfort knowing I will live on in him. I have no I deal what is going to happen, I suppose I just think one day I'll drop dead. If I knew there was even 20 percent chance they could fix me I would go. Every day I ask my self why didn't you go all those years ago but I just don't know. Then I think if I did my life would of been different I wouldn't of ended up in Australia met the girl I really love and had a beautiful boy, I iust want to see him grow up and get married. I just feel it's gone way too far now. My partner doesn't know. I'm scared and drink to forget about it. I just think how could they possibly fix me if its spread to lungs brain liver etc which I can feel.
0 Kudos
Post new topic
Talk to a health professional
Cancer Council support and information 13 11 20Mon - Fri 9am - 5pm
Cancer Information and Support

Online resources and support

Access information about support services, online resources and a range of other materials.

Caring for someone with cancer?

Find out what resources and support services are available to assist you.