so, a few weeks ago i came here to talk about my symptoms and i thought no one was going to read what i wrote but someone did and gave me a lot of support and strength to find out what's going on with my body. as i said before, i'm worrying about endometrial cancer. i have all the symptoms and i've been ignoring them for a long time but it has taken away my will to live and i'd say i'd just rather die than face a cancer at such a young age, but someone actually cared about the post i made so i just came to say that i'm very thankful. also to vent a bit more. sometimes i feel like i was born to suffer, i didn't have a good childhood and had like two good years in my whole life. why does it have to happen to me? all i wanted was to be a normal adult. i always wanted to be a normal child, a normal teenager. why do i have to deal with this? i love my mom so much i don't want her only child to have cancer, but at the same time i can't say that i care about what's going to happen if i die. simply because i will be dead. i don't believe in god anymore because why would he make me go through so much pain if he existed? are happier people better than me? why do they get to live a good life and i don't? i can just die and the suffering stops. this morning i found a comment on my post and it changed my mind a bit. someone told me i should face this situation, i should stop ignoring my body. i need to get my shit together, and it couldn't be said better. i've been selfish and i've done bad things because i thought i had the right to have something as i think i'm going to die very soon, but i'm not thinking about the pain i'm going to leave behind. i'm very scared to face the diagnostic but i don't think there is any other option. if i survive this, just let me say someone here changed my life. you're probably saving the life of a very young girl.
I had a very bad childhood too, I was sexually abused by my father, my parents abused all of us kids in every way, violence, threats, emotionallly, my father broke me nose on my 18th birthday, and since I left home I've been happiest, I've come to terms with what happened to me, locked it in a box in my head and filed it under never to be opened, its been a while since the box was opened, and it does come up, but uts locked again quickly. I hit 27 and its been constant problems with my body. I started with endometriosis, then after my hysterectomy I hurt my back, leading to emergency spinal surgery one of many, and numerous other things, and now cancer. But as you said, you need to see your Dr, get the test results and then you can worry, no use worrying until you know if there's anything to worry about, that will just make you ill anyway. Stress comes in many forms, and it's your body that suffers, so please get the tests, I've just had a MRI today, but I'm glad I know what is wrong, as there's help and support, whatever your problem. Please feel free to message me if you like, I dont mind you and I talking in private messages, but DO NOT TRUST gamerjaved, he's messaged me and said he's a spiritual healer, he's a con man and will take every penny he can and he'll just sat back and laugh. I'm 54 I do not mind talking to you, you're still a baby, you have years in front of you, get diagnosed and you'll fly, you can face anything, more than you realise, especially after traumatic childhood, I know I've been there, I have 2 brothers and a sister, both brothers are alcoholics, my younger brother threw himself under a train when he was 40 in 2011 , due to his mental health as he grew up, I don't have a great deal of contact with my elder brother, but my sister and I have a great relationship and she's part of my support going into this cancer treatment. I just wanted to let you know that you're stronger than you know, you will be ok, but the sooner your diagnosis, whatever it is, the sooner your treatment will start. If you want to message me privately I don't mind, I can support you with words alone, but that means the world to some people. Take care, see your GP xx
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