How do i talk to my loved ones about anger confusion and aggressiveness during chemo?

[SarcomaSlayer]

im becoming very aggressive, verbally combative, and an all around jerk at times during my treatment. other times im an emotional mess. i feel myself unable to curb it, and its affecting my relationships to the point im ruining them. 

im in counseling, i take medication for the mood swings. these things arent enough.

how do i communicate these issues and my helplessness with my loved ones?

has anyone experienced this and been able to create plans and solutions to face these issues with their loved ones?

im desperate to get my "old self" back. but im exhausted and dont have any tools or ideas that are working. 

thank you in advance for any responses 

[Budgie]

Hi SarcomaSlayer,

Have you spoken to your oncologist about how this particular drug is affecting you?  Maybe there is a different chemo they can put you on.  From what I've read on this site, I know it is a big problem with alot of people.  

I hope you find a positive way to move forward thru this.

Budgie

[SarcomaSlayer]

weve tried changing the chemo, the steroids, and the antipsychotic meds. nothing has helped. it honestly comes down to me  

i was a very calm calculated person before chemo. ive noticed a change in my personality and thought process the last time i had chemo and even after remission i was fighting with slow success to regain my old self. i was not normal again when i found out my cancer had returned and im on a downward slide again. 

it seems to be a battle i must win within myself. i just dont know how to keep myself under control at times. and i have tried explaining to others what is going on with me and im unable to communicate it properly. 

[Budgie]

The only other thing I can suggest is meditation.   If you haven’t already tried it, it might be worth a shot.   

[SarcomaSlayer]

ive been a Buddhist and have been meditating for years  

unable to (un)focus long enough to get anything out of it lately.

im more concerned with how i can address this issue with those around me in a productive way. its something i need to sort out but im losing people at an alarming rate because im too much to deal with

[Budgie]

I am sorry you’re struggling with this.   Don’t give up trying tho.   I’m sorry I can’t offer any more advice. 

All the best to you 

Budgie