I start chemo tomorrow 12/4/21

[saraii]

It is the eve before I start my chemo journey and it seems surreal. Tonight feels just like every other night, and I don't know whether I'm in denial. 

Am I anxious? Yes. Am I downplaying how I really feel? More than likely. I guess I'm desensitized. A little over 2 months ago I was told I would be having major Op to have my right ovary removed due to a large tumour which was later confirmed as Dysgerminoma, stage 1C3. Chemo is purely precautionary. I doubted whether I was making the right decision to pursue chemo. Possible unnecessary toxicity and the lasting effects I could avoid by just assuming all was removed with my ovary. 

The endless scans and bloods before and after my diagnosis, recovery from my laparotomy and the giant vertical scar I now bare which has keloid and disfigured me, daily hormone injections, internals scans and blood leading up to fertility preservation procedure that followed. I don't have kids but the idea is growing on me more now at the age of 33. I can't imagine the option being stripped from me because of chemo. 

I'm tired from all this and tired for what's to come. I guess I just need someone to talk to every now and then and maybe tell me I've  made the right decision...  maybe. 

S. 

[Budgie]

Hi @saraii ,

Welcome to this great forum.  Sorry it's under these circumstances tho.   I know it's only early days yet, but how's the chemo going?  

In relation to the keloid, did anyone tell you to massage the scar area after surgery.  It will help break down the fibrous tissue that forms under the scar.  Massage the area every day, really kneading the skin as much as you can, without causing any undue pain.  And, if you rub in some vitamin E, that will help reduce the appearance of the scar.  With the vitamin E, you need to do this religiously if you want the scar to fade away.

In regards to making the right decision  - we can only ever be guided by what we need at the time, & while there are side effects from chemo, it's probably better to be safe than sorry.   Anyway, I hope the chemo goes easy on you.  

Take care

Budgie 

[Paul71]

Hi, I hope all went well with you.  I’m about to start on the immunotherapy journey and the side effects are terrifying me.  But I do want to stay alive so I guess I have to get it done.  Good luck.

[Budgie]

Hi @Paul71 ,

It's normal to be scared, but try not to worry too much as stress can hinder your recovery from treatment.   You never know, you may not suffer many if any side effects, but you have a strong will to live, & that helps a lot in keeping you alive.  Keep the attitude. 

All the best with your treatment. 🙂

Budgie