Hi to all with cancer and carers fighting the fight with them.
Im lucky to be the carer but not so lucky to watch someone you love suffer. I hope I dont come across as selfish but Im struggling with my mums decision to be on her own with stage 4 uterine cancer.
Shes been battling it for 5 years when it was discovered in its stage 3. Chemo/ Radiation /Chemo again. Remission, well not really.
9month later cell found its way up to the lungs. Secondary stage 4. Chemo/ trial drug/ radiation again.
Inbetween riding the roller coast of it on my own as Im a mum with teenager daughter. While working and barely managing the teenage years on my own and living with mum.
Her place is small but we were going to get a bigger one together, but covid hit and prices soared. I got scared of using mums money and mine together on such ridiculously priced places. So I stayed stuck in the routine of living with someone with cancer and ignorance of being depressed.
Mums decided that she wants to be on her own and I have hit the ground hard. I tried to express that one day I will have to learn to live without her but to know that she wants to get a place on her own.without us hurts. We are only in a controlled stage for 3mths but after that the doctor will be reviewing it.
I understand she has her own life and nobody has the right to tell you what to do. But her pushing me away doesn't make me feel independent, just alone in all this.
I'm very sorry to hear about your Mum.
You don't come across selfish at all. You come across as someone who is trying to come to terms with your Mum being sick and trying to process that.
I'm not too sure what the outlook is like for your Mum.
Some times when we are approaching the end of life (whether this is real or simply perceived), well, one thing I've learnt is that everyone deals with this differently.
Maybe she needs a bit of space to try and process this? But I can also understand why you would want to be there for her.
My only advise is to try and talk to her about it and give her some space.
Best of luck.
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