I'm new and don't know where to start

[casper]

Hi everyone, I am very new to forums, in fact this is my first ever post, so please be gentle with me. I was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer last August, after the most dreadful of weeks, where I was pushed around our local hospital for days before anyone took me and my pain seriously. The diagnosis came as a shock, but they don't call OC the silent killer for nothing. But I am one of the lucky ones (apparently). I had debaulking surgery in August to remove the orignal tumour, but as I suffered complications and the doctor couldn't have a good look around, a second surgery was done in April this year to remove (hopefully) the last of it. Chemo was done in between the surgeries, so my prognosis is the best it can be. So I should be over the moon, right? I have gone back to work this week. Before this, I was the primary breadwinner for the family (I am married with two young boys, aged 4 and 9). It's not that I had to go back to work, I had all the relevant insurance, so it's funny, after everything we have been through in the last 10 months, we are now in the best financial position of our lives! I wanted to get back to work for some normality, some brain activity and some social interaction. But going back to work has forced me to do something I haven't done yet, which is to acknowledge what we have been through, that I have cancer (I'm not sure I can say had), and it's broken me. The tears have just not stopped flowing today. I met with my wonderful GP today and he suggested I try a support group - I tried this late last year, they were a lovely group of women, but I found that I didn't have much in common with them as they were quite a bit older than me (like 20+ years older). So I am still on the lookout for a local group (I am in Adelaide, so if anyone is interested....). A Google search tonight has led me to the Cancer Connections page, so here I am, hopefully not boring you all to death. I'm hoping that, having got this off my chest, I can start the healing process now. I said to my GP today, that I don't want things to just go back to how they were, that I want this experience to mean something, to make a difference in my/our lives. But I am not sure how I can do this...... Thanks for listening.

[Tea]

Hello Casper I'm new here too and a little uncertain if it will help me but it's worth a try. My husband has rectal cancer and has tried to keep working throughout treatment although just stopped for surgery last few days. It has helped him to feel normal and keep his mind focused on other things which has been good. His work have been very helpful in keeping the communication channels open without infringing on his privacy and it has helped him to feel supported in this way. We have 2 young school aged children and I'm constantly worried about how they are doing with all the stress surrounding them. The surgery has gone well and my husband was in really good spirits but I'm really worried now about What the pathology report will show and his continuous hiccups he's had for the last 2 days. Hoping there isn't anything wrong that hasn't been picked up. The fear has overcome me once again, right when I want to be strong for my family. I am also hoping to find people that I can relate to with similar situation and experiences. Even though I am a partner of someone with Cancer I was drawn to your post because I'm also in Adelaide and my boys are similar ages. I also have had days where the tears have kept flowing! Wishing you and your family well. T

[casper]

Thank you for your kind words, Tea Sending you all the positive vibes I can for a good result with the pathology report. C

[Leannebillo]

My husband is 52 & was diagnosed with mesothelimoia pleural 2 yrs ago looking for someone with same condition So I can talk to & discuss different treatments

[The_Rowan]

Hi Casper, There is another group on this website for women with Gynocological Cancers that you may like to join. We have an online chat session each month (our most recent was last night) where we discuss things like the treatments and side effects we have experienced. I personally have found it most helpful as doctors don't always tell you everything. The ages of our group members cover a broad range, and we are all at various stages of treatment (just starting to annual check ups) so you should be able to find someone to connect with. It's up to you, but if you would like to join, you would be made to feel most welcome. The Rowan

[Lorraine]

Hi Casper, since my mum's experience with head and neck cancer - 5 years ago, I now live a 'new kind of normal'. It's never the same as what it was, but it's another way of finding and living with all the moments of fear and hope that comes with pre and post cancer experiences. What I can say is that returning to work - or whatever was 'normal' before cancer asks one to do things differently and recognise that doing things differently can be just as fulfilling. So the new normal is and can be an exciting 'normal'. Wishing you lots of new, excitings NORMAL.

[casper]

Thanks Lorraine

[casper]

Thank you, I have sent off a request to join the group. Much appreciated Casper