My first post - worried

[3leggedcat]

Hi I'm Jonathan and new here. 4 weeks ago my Lymph Nodes on the right side of my neck swole quickly. In that time I have had 2 blood tests Ultra Sound CT Scan neck and Chest And all came back clean, 100% clean. Monday I had a fine needle biopsy, today saw the ENT surgeon who told me there are suspicious cells in it, BUT would not say for sure it is Cancer. He said it's probably 60% Cancer, but did say he thought it was highly treatable given all other tests came clean. Suggested it may be skin (not melanoma) or throat cancer. I have had the camera down the throat and the nose and that was all clean, so he expects it is very small. Monday I go for a Pet scan, then go the the Head and Neck Clinic. I want to believe whatever it is I got early. Even talked to a friend who had an undiagnosed Cyst for 12 months that was cancerous and went through radiation and is now Cancer free. it really sounds like his was worse - but yes I know mine hasn't been totally diagnosed yet. So don't suggest bad alternatives :). Anyway, thats my story.

[#2]

Hi Jonathan Its only natural to be worried about these things, but sounds like you have really good results back from your tests, and if it was anything nastier than a cyst you did the right thing and got to the docs early. I have head and neck, SCC that started on lip, moved to left lymph node and now in the middle of radiotherapy to eradicate whats left after a neck op. I know I was worried as all heck, but Ive learnt to take each day as it comes and deal with the bridges I have to cross when I reach them. Just stay positive, this is a great place to be for support, everyone is wonderful here. Take Care Leesa

[3leggedcat]

Thanks Beautylee. Just kind of feeling my way through it all, including my emotions. A few years ago I read Lance Armstrongs autobiography and how he battled Cancer. Time to get it out again. I am looking for inspiration more than support, looking for how people don't just cope, but how they change, excel and manifest triumph (does that sound strange.) Sounds like you have started to get a good handle on that BL.

[Ron50]

Hi Johnathan, The notion that you may have cancer is enormous when you first hear it. So much so that it is difficult to get your head around it. I was dx with colon ca during a colonoscopy. When I woke up I asked the GI how I was. She happily told me I had a colon tumor that was blocking the colon and she could not get the scope past it. My brain at that time could not take it in. The next evening I was operated on. The cancer was removed . It was an aggressive stage three into six lymph nodes. Again I asked the surgeon how I was going,he just said too many lymph nodes ,too aggressive ,I think it will get you. By the time I was out of hospital I had time to really think about it and believe it or not I came to the conclusion that cancer would not kill me. I told the surgeon and later the oncologist of my conclusions. They both smiled and told me if there was anything I really wanted to do,do it now. I did not take their advice and went back to work instead.That was fourteen years ago and I am still ca free. Good luck with your diagnoses and treatment,Ron.

[3leggedcat]

Thanks Ron that sort of communication is great, and ironic. Given I already know this won't kill me, I know I have stuff to deal with but am committed to using Cancer as a reason to change things in my life (not just lifestyle). I am committed to not just surviving (which I will) but surviving better again Ron, your words to me were very powerful, and lifted me at a down moment.

[purpleangels]

Good luck to you in your coming appointments....... A pet scan is the ultimate scan apparently- the only one my husband hasn't had....... Let us know how you go!! PA

[purpleangels]

Good luck to you in your coming appointments....... A pet scan is the ultimate scan apparently- the only one my husband hasn't had....... Let us know how you go!! PA

[#8]

Hey Jonathan I dont understand why you need to find inspiration, that comes from within. I dont "just"cope, I LIVE. Whats your point on does that sound strange? Give me a break lol Want to know something? I have gone on to live EXACTLY as I did before all this crap happened to me. Even tho, I lost, 2cm of my lip, with that the ability to kiss properly, eat properly, (let alone sexual matters), went on to lose 2 molars, went on to losing my business, went on to losing my neck, went on to losing my beautiful smile, my looks as I was born with. Now, you want inspiration? Listen to your Docs, dont self medicate and for one minute think that someone elses diagnosis is worse than yours. Dont presume to even think of what I have a handle on, when you have more diagnosis to offer than start worrying.

[SILLY]

The unknown can be scary. Even though you may or may not have cancer and if so,in an early stage it appears ,it is natural to worry. When you know where you stand it's easier to deal with it. All the best.

[3leggedcat]

Update I had a Pet scan yesterday and today visited the head and neck clinic at St. Vincents. I have received a very positive diagnosis. The basics are doctors believe the lump may be cancerous (but still don't know for sure), but everything else shows (if it is cancerous) it hasn't moved to any other part of my body. Next step is surgery on the 16th to remove the Lymph and anything that biopsies bad next to it. In a funny way the short time I have had to deal with this has given me new focus on life, I had been suffering depression for a while now, and this simply opened my eyes and gave me cause to stop, breathe and see what I have. I have also started to collect a great collection of material that has helped me, a lot of CD's from Dr. Wayne Dyer and Andrew Weil. I've changed my diet and feel pretty good. I have many more thoughts, but need time to just digest this thanks all, Beautylee what I messaged was sincere