Hi there Lou Lou! I have mentioned two books that helped me immensely with my kids on this site..... One is " when a parent has cancer" Wendy Schlessel Harpham and " How to help children through a parent's serious illness" Kathleen mcCue...... They might help your two young people...... Good luck!! PA ... View more

Well done Lizzie! Celebrate! Keep soldiering on! PA ... View more

OMG! You and I are living the same weirdness! How do you tell young children that dad can't play because he is sick with a disease that is not going away? As honestly as possible I reckon. I have a 6 and 4 yo. My son was only 7 months when my husband was diagnosed so for him it has never been any different. For my daughter who was three, she remembers before daddy got "the cut". And having to look death and mortality in the face very day is horrible, but I am at a point where I stare it straight down and tell it that it ain't gonna bring me down....I am in control of my feelings, not some maybe.......but there are days and nights where I do nothing but cry at the futile hope I carry and the unfairness of my two beautiful and intelligent children being robbed of a pretty good dad when they have done nothing wrong..... My daughters teachers and principal have been FABULOUS! The local hospital child psychologist and local area health nurses have been amazing.......so supportive! And my own family have helped immensely. The thing for me that hurts THE MOST is when my mate's husbands come over and get down on the floor and play with my kids, something I have never seen my husband do with my son, and a distant memory for my daughter. It kills me to see how much they respond to that and how much they need a bloke to get down and rumble......I try but it just isn't the same. I spend late nights on amazon finding self help books on the cheap and the local library too. But I am also learning that you need to look after you......or else the whole family will fall in a heap. I have found courage, determination and strength I never knew I had, but I also have empathy, understanding and tolerance that was missing from my personality before too. I am also writing a one woman show about this crazy journey....maybe one day young kids will see it and understand that they are not alone and that others are experiencing the madness too......coz it's mad!!!!! Take care! PA ... View more

Welcome! This is a good place to sort through stuff.... I wish you well PA ... View more

Wook! Please check out a post on anere's blog about good books to help your kids(and yourself). I am 39, and my 38 yo soulmate was diagnosed with rare cancer 3 years ago...... I know what you are facing, but these books really help! Good luck and positivity coming our way! PA ... View more

You are so not a whinger....... It is so hard..... And there are no answers..... Just emotions and pain and suffering.....but there is also this commu it's to talk to and seek support from. Hope things improve! Take it easy on yourself too..... PA ... View more

Hi there again..... I forgot to mention that being honest with the kids is probably the best way to deal with the mood swings, tiredness, grumpiness, anger etc etc etc (I don't need to tell ya).....even the littlest ones can understand feeling sick/ tired/ grouchy. It is so hard, I try and take my kids away for weekends when I can so they have a great time with a well parent. We also try to have family holidays where my husband makes the supreme effort to be up and about and doing " normal" dad things. It wipes him out for a week or so after, but we have photos and video of him being a dad, which the kids like to look at when he has had a spell in bed or in hospital. I find with my kids though, they lose it if I lose it, so if I am feeling angry with dad, then the kids pick up on that and chuck more Wobblies than usual,- a vicious circle.....but I am really trying to breathe, get into the " happiness project" ( I am reading a LOT of self help books) and stay calm....... Easy to say now my children are asleep, and I am off to bed myself in a sec, but so important...... Love and hugs to you, I hear ya!!!!!!!!! Keep going..... PA ... View more

Hi there! I just had to write and tell you about these books I found on amazon....."how to help children through a parent's serious illness" Kathleen McCue and "when a parent has cancer" by Wendy Schlessel Harpham. We have two kids 4 and 6. My husband was diagnosed 3 years ago with a rare cancer in his peritoneum. I wish I had found these books then....easy to read, practical and helpful...... Good luck with your husband....take it a day at a time........ PA ... View more

Tim! Yay!! Good for you!! An inspiration to the young people in your care....and one they'll never forget!! Keep up the great effort!! Well done!!!! PA ... View more

Stitch! Wow! My husband and I were just saying.......... How he has been slapped in the face with his mortality and then you so succinctly put it...."just enjoy what you have for today and know you didn't waste time like a lot of people" so true and so comforting.....not judgmental....just a reality for so many dealing with illness.....it is a philosophy changing, personality changing, emotional changing, consumerism driven changing this cancer thing. And that is before we have even got to the physical change........... Mmmmmm maybe cancer just means "change"....... Your attitude, your thinking, your outlook, your friends, your family, your priorities, your dreams, your focus........mmmmmm. Keep planning Maddi!!!! PA ... View more