I think at first I hated my Cancer,and the terminal diagnosis that came with it,I was told early in my days by my wife’s Doctor,that everyone is going to die ,some sooner ,some later, I just happened to be in the sooner category,that didn’t happen but there was a couple of false alarms and close calls along the way,unfortunately the Doc passed away before me he is a definite loss to the medical profession.I stopped thinking about death and got along with living, I used to backpack the high country on my own in the mountains,free as an eagle,I can’t do that now ,the toll of my Whipple surgery other medical issues ,and natural progression of age stopped that ,but I have not lost my passion of the wild mountains,raging rivers,and the cold weather,we still go away camping when our health allows to these areas,I might have a small wander around smelling the trees,listening to the wildlife taking in nature’s darkness, reenergising ,if my grandchildren are there it makes the experience even better,I think Cancer has made me more compassionate to others suffering and hopefully a better person, others can judge me on that .You have to get positives from every situation I have spent more time with my family seen how extra nurturing my wife is.We were retiring to the mountain country years ago but a neurologist told me to think about it with my spinal condition I have been hospitalised,and told after a big bleed I wouldn’t walk out of hospital,I have a cavernous haemangioma in the middle of my spinal cord that bleeds cutting off signal to my legs, I should be paralysed but Ocassionly the medicos get it wrong,I listened and we didn’t move . I actually have won the equivalent of tattslotto for health as I am still moving and alive. Where there is life there is hope.
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