Hi everyone,   This board might not be the right place for this, but I hope that people find this both to share their experiences and to learn from others.   The title of yesterday's webinar "Stuff mates don't say" really sparked my interest (rightly or wrongly - gals can be mates too) in men's issues, and whether there really are men's issues. So this is a first in a series of questions that I would like to pose to all of you out there.   How did you go about disclosing your diagnosis of cancer to your: Partner Immediate Family Extended Family Friends The rest of the world   For me (sorry if this is a bit long)… Partner – My wife been “with me” throughout my journey except for one occasion. It was Easter Monday. I was out in one of the paddocks on our farm when I noticed that I had missed a phone call from an undisclosed number. I called the phone message bank and there was a message from my gastroenterologist (GE). I had been in for a gastroscopy the Thursday before in response to experiencing difficulty swallowing. Hmmm… a specialist calling on a public holiday – that can’t be a good thing. I tried calling the GE straight away, but he was not answering his phone. I figured that I would have to wait until the next morning to get through to the GE. I did not tell my wife about this call; no point having her worry when we didn’t know what the call was about. I went to work the next morning and finally got through to the GE who used the “c” word at the end of his first sentence. He had already booked me in to see a surgeon on the Thursday of that week. I lasted another hour at work before telling my boss that I had to go home “for personal reasons”. I drove straight home to “share” with my wife the small amount of information that had been disclosed by the GE. When I got home, my wife asked why I was home so early. I told her that we needed to sit down and have a chat. I then broke the news to her pretty much as I have described here - chronologically. Later that week we got told that the cancer appeared to be isolated to the gastro-oesophageal junction and that my condition was considered curable. Immediate family – We have 2 daughters in their early 30s. I waited until I had more information before disclosing to my daughters. I couldn’t get them together to let them know, but I used the same approach for both… “I have good news, and I have bad news. The good news is that my condition is considered curable; the bad news is that I  have been diagnosed with stomach cancer.” No point beating around the bush, and get it out quickly so that it all sinks in together. Since then, I was keen for them to ask me questions which I would answer if I could or get back to them if I couldn’t Extended Family – Again, I pretty much just blurted it out – all over the phone given that we live so far apart. My main urgency in telling them was to alert them to the possibility of a susceptibility within the family – my second eldest brother had died from oesophageal cancer only a few years earlier Friends – Given that we live out of town, I did this via email. I started sending out quite detailed narrations of my journey; I referred to these as “Communiques”. One of these Communiques was dedicated to me answering questions that they sent to me. The rest of the world – I didn’t talk about it to the rest of the world until well after my total gastrectomy. I try to use any occasion to talk about what I have gone through with the “take-away” being to know yourself, know what is your personal “normal”, and do something about anything that is not normal before it gets to be too late. The other forum for me to spread the word has been this CCOC site. I'm keen to hear from you all.   Hugs to everyone, Rick ... View more