Hi Patches, just wanted to check in with you and see how you are doing and of course your husband.  Thinking of you both ❤️ ... View more

Hestas,  I am so sorry you are going thru this twice.   My heart breaks for you.  My heart breaks for everyone, even myself and my kids.  I hope you tell him how this makes you feel.  He needs to be told, bc your feelings matter to.  If it wasn’t for you, who would honestly be there to take care of him.  You are amazing and he is very lucky to have you.   Sending you a great big hug!  Xo ... View more

Hi EM74,   I’m so sorry you are going thru this.  I have been thru the same with my husband.  It breaks my heart, he makes me feel like I’m not wanted or needed.  As I assume this is how you are feeling.  Please know I feel your pain.  There are days I could just run.  He treats others better than me.  It is much better, now that he is off the steroids, but I can still feel so unneeded or wanted.  He has made comments that his friends care.  Well I am here 24/7 so I guess I don’t.  I cry all the time.  I just want a hug and kiss and tell me he needs and wants me more than anyone, but I’m not gonna hold my breath.  Stay strong and know we are here for you.  Stay strong and know that they are only mean and irritated with us because they are scared and know we won’t leave them bc our love is so strong.  I have to remind myself of this every day about twenty times a day after a good cry.  ❤️ ... View more

MerrillPatton,    I don’t think your weak.  I’m sorry for your hurt and pain.  As I am dealing with my husbands cancer.  I myself have lost my dad.  I went thru a lot and it’s been since 2007 when he passed.  I still have days where I cry for him.  To hear his voice, a smile even an argument.  I would do anything for another day, even an hour.  Please don’t be sorry.  We all need to vent.  You are not selfish or any other names.  You are hurting as we all are.  Please know I totally understand and I’m sorry.   ... View more

Hi VM,  I absolutely agree with you and your amazing advice.  I don’t know anyone who signs up for cancer.  My heart breaks for her.  She obviously loves him and is dedicated to her fiancé,  but I question his dedication for her.  He shouldn’t be letting his parents or anyone hurt her in any way, shape or form.   My question is are they doing this behind his back and not infront of him.  It doesn’t really matter, bc this doesn’t sound like a great living arrangement mentally for her.  But I do get she’s in a damned if she stays and damned if she goes situation.  But the mental abuse and physical isn’t worth it.  I truly hope she has family to help her realize she is amazing, loved and has great dedication but mostly how much SHE DOES MATTER...❤️ ... View more

Patches, I’m so glad he is home, where you both wanted him to be.  He will or should feel a bit more restful at home.  I am thinking of you both.  Sending you a big hug.   You are the best advocate for your husband...and you are doing a great job.  ❤️ ... View more

Thank you for your post Frostling.  It’s nobody’s fault but mine, I don’t ask for help.  Asking for help to me is saying I can’t do this.  I know it sounds crazy but I’m trying to keep as much of the kids and myself lives as much to normal as I can.  Haha if that sounds normal.  It’s very hard for me to ask anyone for anything.   I don’t call anyone like I use to, I’m shutting down and just trying to stay focused on my immediate family and my husband.   See me and the original poster have differences.  She isn’t married to him.  I have the most respect for her and feel so bad that she is being treated so poorly from her future in-laws.  I have been married to my husband 22yrs together 28.  His family doesn’t live near us, nor does my family except my mom who is difficult with her mental health and medical problems and everything should be about her...while I’m dealing with cancer with my husband, my children, my house.  And trying to breathe.   I don’t like having people I don’t know helping me.  And I am definitely the person if my kids fold something wrong...yes to me wrong I refold it and get upset, bc if your gonna hell you do it how I do it mentality.  So it’s hard to help me and me appreciate it bc I’m upset that you helped, not that you so much folded the item wrong.  Just the you think I can’t do this...I know it’s crazy...it’s just how I am and it’s sad.  But thank you for your great advice.  I just am not one to want or need the help.  Thank you for being supportive to me and my crazy ways.  Xo ... View more

Patches, I am sending you my prayers and a great big hug!  I’m so sorry, he is being like this with you.  You are an absolute amazing wife.  ❤️ ... View more

Go where your ❤️ Takes you!  Hope you had a better day today Patches.  It’s incredible how strong we can be when we have to.  You are an amazing wife.   ... View more

Frosting,   Thank you for you kind post.  No unfortunately you guys are my support.  I’m not gonna say I’m always right, bc I can only see what I see from my perspective.  Fortunately we all have our perspective on things.   I take care of my husband and my mother, late at night.  I’m an old school big mouthed Italian girl. I can do it all, mentality.  But when he brings the kids into it, his side versus mine.  Is just plain out wrong.   So right now I’m not talking to anyone in my house.  I just do what I’m suppose to do and try to hold my tears back.  My daughter and I are probably so much alike, that we argue up a storm.  She is constantly rolling her eyes at me. Not including me in a conversation.  It’s hurtful.  And yes she is my biological daughter.  My middle son has always been sweet, but now he listens to my daughter, which I find funny bc she’s always been mean to him.  So now it seems she is trying to drive a wedge along with her dad to make him angry with me.  Then my 2nd son the baby had always been a mommas boy and they are getting to him.  Which has never happed ever and breaks my heart, more than anything.  He went to give me a kiss this morning and I turned my check.  I know it wasn’t the best thing to do, but I’m so hurt.  They all go out, don’t have to be hands on with their dad bc they know I’m here.  They can live their lives and be present when they want, I don’t want them to miss life and have been told by Couselor that I’m doing the right thing.  Let them be kids and unfortunately I have to deal with everything.   But when the time comes and he gets sicker they will have to deal with it then.  He yells at them to but little stuff, like what were you F-in thinking.   Me he screams at and calls me names.  And I’ve told him I’m unhappy, that if I try to talk to him I’m delusional, I’m wrong.  All the stuff you would say when your guilty and trying to make the other person feel as thought their feelings don’t count.  My dr. Put me on anxiety meds and depression med.  he has put me thru a lot.  We almost divorced in 2014 and I wanted to save the marriage.  I thought he did to, but to recently find out that he is still friends with people I believe had something to do with it.  Even if they didn’t but I wanted my marriage and I knew they would infuriate my wife, who stayed in the marriage, when again he wronged us.  I just am hurting in a million ways.  I don’t want to be taking care of him and always everyday it pops in my head does he love me or didn’t.   Especially if something happens...to be left with that in my head, is cruelty beyond belief.   I love this man, I married this man, I have three beautiful kids with this man.  Why is he just trying to destroy me, with our kids with my heart...🤷🏻‍♀️💔.   Thank you for listening, I’m sorry...the last few days have been aweful and they have been very mean.    I will finish crying and act like I’m ok, till I leave the house then I cry again.  You are absolutely a wonderful person.  Cancer Sure Does Suck the life out of not only the person who has it!  But all those who are close and love that person with everything they got.    ... View more