Hey Caroline, it must be the way this thing goes, another 2am wake up for me also, pain started it then it rapidly descended into mental gymnastics. Tell you what, my body might be cactus but my brain is on fire!  Re surgeon-I’ve never understood the way this stuff gets communicated, or the wait times. It’s like it’s designed to torture. I’m hoping in between the waiting you’re getting rest and are surrounded by those you love. My days have become couch, Netflix, a tiny bit of bad dancing to keep my energy up and trying to cook good food, though I’m losing that ability cause of tiredness. Today I’m off to the specialist and ECG in prep for surgery. Keep me posted if you want to, I’m here xx ... View more

Hey Lampwork, I quickly checked out your profile, you’ve been through a hell of a lot- how are you feeling in recovery now?  I’ve definitely been focusing on little projects- we have a burgeoning veggie garden that is feeding me great organic food but is also so peaceful to be in. Agree with putting some boundaries in place- for sanity if nothing else. It’s all still sinking in- slowly. Tomorrow comes with more news, my initial come biopsy was sent off for a second opinion, so I expect my diagnosis will be further updated- but I’m not sure. It’s the not knowing that sucks, but that I’ll have to get used to. I hope today is a good one for you xx cheers Claire    ... View more

Hey Lampwork,   thankyou for reaching out- I reckon you’re right, knowing what the plan is will definitely help. I’ve been reading the stories on here, and it’s so comforting to know I’m not alone- none of us are. We’re all cancer kin now, a giant army connected by unspoken hope. Next step is surgery, and then recovery. Until then it’s prep and just talking. I so appreciate you taking the time to share your experience, please stay in touch x I’ll keep you posted  cheers, Claire    ... View more

Hey Caroline,  how are you feeling today? I’ve been not too bad, I had a dear friend come by on the weekend to help my husband with the veggie garden, while I cooked dinner. It took twice as long to do and I was just unable to function after because of tiredness, so that was a bit of a reality check for me. I’m coping ok, as background my husband is Tibetan -and was a Buddhist monk for 19 years. Together we run a meditation school (www.facebook.com/lojongmeditation) so I feel like the practice is keeping me calm. I’ve woken a few times in the morning in a hysterical mess, but I think that’s ok. It’s all okay to cope how we need to, and be upset or angry, sad, scared. I think the main thing is being able to talk about it, and so I just wanted to say again- thankyou- Im so thankful to you for sharing where you are at, in all it’s rawness, it’s a comfort even though it’s totally crap to be going through. Also, I’m here if you do need to vent, scream, commiserate, laugh at the ridiculousness of it, whatever xxx tomorrow I have ECG, another specialist appointment, then Wednesday it’s CT, Thursday anaesthetics and next Tuesday, surgery. How about you? What’s next? Xxx  ... View more

Hi Sch,  Really good points, I think because I’m Stage II that the cancer isn’t contained to just my uterus but I’ll check, it’s all a whole new language to me. I see what you mean regarding exposure, I hadn’t even thought if that- so I’ll ask the specialist tomorrow. Because my cancer had no outward physical signs or symptoms and how they found it was fluke, I’m probably being super paranoid or hyper vigilant which is to be expected I suppose. Thanks again for getting back to me so quickly,  cheers Claire  ... View more

Hi Caroline,  Thanks for reaching out and sharing your news, it’s so much to digest isn’t it? I think your approach  of creating clear space to start to process is a wise one. I’ve stupidly thrown myself straight into the barrage of questions and am only now coming up for air. The anxiety has me sitting up awake at 12-2 in the morning and scrolling through forums and treatment options, stories of hope and others much more brutal in the outcome. It’s probably doing me no good but in the absence of having anyone else to chat to about it, it’ll have to do. Mostly I’m just trying to be kind to myself, I don’t think there any ‘normal’ way to process this, there’s just getting one foot in front of the other. If you do need to chat, just yell out- I’m here. It’s really comforting to know someone else who is facing similar challenges. I’m so appreciative you reached out, stay in touch okay? cheers Claire  ... View more

Hey -sch  thanks yeah I’m in a regional area (my hospital is Ballarat) so who knows. The other thing is that my CT scan is isolated to my pelvis, am I allowed to ask them to scan all of me? In particular my chest- I just think it’s weird if you’re checking to see if it’s spread, to not check everywhere, but then what the hell do I know? I’m like 3 days into a diagnosis!  Also any ideas about how to manage everyone else’s feelings? I’ve had a literal tsunami of well-wishers which is lovely but also loads of people either crying, wanting to ask me a million questions which I don’t know the answer to, or people who insist on seeing me, even when I’m repeatedly saying I’m just not up to it. Any sage advice? I know it’s all coming from a place of love, and don’t want to appear ungrateful but it’s a lot to deal with,  cheers, Claire  ... View more

Hey sch,  thanks for writing back, appreciate you taking the time to share your experience with me, it’s an isolating experience being on the younger end of the spectrum. I feel maybe while we don’t have the same cancers I’m in a similar situation in that my surgeon has outlined the need for me to have a radical hysterectomy. He offered to try and keep my ovaries in case we want more children, but my risk profile is also super high so it just seems like madness to me to take that risk. I’ve also indicated I want everything gone, and have 2 weeks before surgery.  Ive got a 5 yr old son, so he’s part of the decision really, and I’m hoping that when that anxiety creeps in (because you’re right, it will) I’m hoping I see him and my husband and get a quick snap back to reality! i have the CT scan next Tuesday- do you know how long it takes for those results to come back on average?   Great idea about writing it down, I woke up at 4am with 5 or 6 ones that I forgot to ask yesterday so I’m gonna do that now. surgery is on the 6th. I’ll keep you posted, and thanks again. So much.  ... View more

Thanks for getting back to me Rick, really appreciate it.  I love the idea of finding people to just listen and trusting those with knowledge rather than ‘ideas’. Already I’m being bombarded with opinions, ideas, suggestions, well-wishers. I know it’s coming from a good place, but it’s noise, so much noise when I just need time to think. I’m very much a knowledge is power kind of person, it’s been months of researching possible outcomes that helped in pushing to be heard by my GP, so again thank you.  The diary idea is brilliant too, I write to express my feelings better than I could ever say them in person. I’m going to go buy one tomorrow. My CT scan is next Tuesday and first surgery on the 6th of August, then I’m hoping i’ll know exactly what I’m dealing with. I’ll keep you posted.  Cheers, claire      ... View more