I could certainly do without the rides as well. ... View more

Hi Chris, I know where you are coming from. By the time I was diagnosed in 2007 I had lost one great friend at 52, had another diagnosed at 49 the same week that friend no.1 died.He died in 2008. When I had just about finished treatment another friend was diagnosed with brain tumours. He subsequently died last October. I still struggle that these friends, at relatively young ages , suffered and died and I survived. Don't get me wrong, I am extremely grateful that I am alive but I still often shed a tear for those who didn't make it. The last 5 years have really made me question fate and any number of other philosophical issues. It is really hard. I hope your colonoscopy was OK. S ... View more

Hi Alana, You always seem to be such a strong person so that I know you will come out of all of this. Your situation is very reminiscent of a great friend who about 13 years ago finally left her emotionally abusive husband. He had MS but she could no longer cope with his attitude towards her sons and herself. The boys became very violent towards her (they were about 2 and 8 at the time)and the husband blamed the kids for making him sick and often told them that, if they were being a bit noisy or uncooperative. He moved back with his parents as he wsn't able to live on his own at that stage and there were numerous recriminations etc - not from us (her friends) but from his family. She, however, knew that she had to make a go of it on her own. She has come out of this the other side. The eldest boy is a little scarred (but there was another unpleasant relationship for them to deal with as well). You must make the final decisions about your life but the harrowing time that you have endured will have made you stronger. The health of you and your girls is paramount. Take lots of hugs from us and your girls. Thinking of you, S ... View more

Oh God - the ever recurring fear! Willow, I agree with Sailor. Better to be sure. Mind you I have also had a sore shoulder for a month or so and done nothing about it . Too busy dealing with other things at the moment. Oh, how we return to out old bad habits! Cats - that is a bugger. I can never escape the paradox of chemo - we hate it so much and what it does to us but we are terrified of not having it. The constant uncertainty is what always seems to take us over whenever we feel that we are regaining an even keel. Thise pains we once ignored now loom in front of us as the possibility of something so much more sinister. Cats, take some time for you while you are feeling a little better. Can you escape and get away even for a short time? Take loads of care everyone and lots of deep breaths, S ... View more

Hi, This is the perfect place to say what you feel like saying.I don't know that anyone can stop the pain but feel free to express any thoughts here. Sometimes just doing that helps. Take care, Samex ... View more

As usual, beautifully stated. Let's hope that we can spend many times using that visa to the Kingdom of well. Maybe some of us may be able to relinguish the passport of the Kingdom of the sick and regain their place on the queue of the Well at border control. S ... View more

hi Mopity, In August 2007 I was diagnosed with stage 3 bowel cancer after emergency surgery. My chemo regime was different in that I had a picc line with oxalipalitin and 5FU every 2 weeks so I can't help you with the effects of the drug that you will be given. I had to stop work (teacher) while I was on chemo as the tiredness was too debilitating but I don't know whether your drugs will have the same effects. On the plus side, I found the staff at the clinic(relatively large public hospital in Sydney) where I had treatment to be enormously supportive and my doctor gave me heaps of information about side effects etc. Will you be seeing your oncologist before you start treatment? If you are, ask, ask, ask. That's what they are there for. Good luck with it all. Hopefully someone else may be able to assist with specifics. Samex PS Did you have surgery? ... View more

Jill, My heart goes out to you, partly because through you I am reliving the agony that a friend went through 5 and 1/2 years ago. I can't say that the journey for her was easy but she came through. She also asked us for help whenever she needed it and also accepted offers of kindness when ever they presented themselves. I have just come home from my session with a counsellor where ,with some anti-d meds, I have begun to climb from the hole and the sense of merely existing that I too experienced(even though your situation is infinitely worse than mine. Please take a bucket load of cyberhugs and the thoughts that you have many others thinking of you. Take lots of care of yourself. S ... View more

I think it does get a little easier (I know this sounds very cliched) . Either that or we just learn to manage our responses better - as we do with so many aspects of our lives these days! S ... View more

Hi Willow, I also agree with Harker but realise how hard it is sometimes to actually sit don with those you love and try to tell them straight how you feel. My immediate family also sees that the cancer is done and dusted and that we just move on. I have had to seek counselling to help me and have started on the anti-ds to help me through this. I was only thinking today that even though I want to do things and not waste time, sometimes I have to really force myself to do it. The melee of emotions, particularly if you have fears, is just overwhelming at times. As a mother I can see how you want this trip to be wonderful for you and your daughter, but maybe sometimes we need to give others some extra credit and if we let them in, then they may be able to help. I hope this doesn't sound too convoluted and then you have had some time to calm and settle your thoughts. Good luck with all of your questions and never feel that you can't write here. Take care, S ... View more